In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is better?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I think that,
children
on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career.Because of
this
type of
children
get information which
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help in their future.And they will know what they should do and the
children
will be best in their profession.Because of
this
in my opinion
children
who study so, will be good specialists. But everything has disadvantages.
For example
:
children
who change a narrow range of subjects related to a particular profession,they when grow up, might modify their opinions.Because of
this
, parents who want to send their
children
,must talk to their
children
about what they want and keep up always and everywhere.Because:if anyone
children
dose not get to support,especially suppot at parents,
children
will be uncretain,offended and very evil. I think that,on every
children
must mutch the approach.And depends which
children
, might choose just because he or she is fits.Because:every
children
unique and special in it is own way.Nowadays,
children
become very clever,talented and curious with every day.Every
children
has law for choose.
Submitted by kooper507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Consider introducing your essay with a clear statement of your position to immediately let readers know your viewpoint. This sets a clear direction for your essay.
Content Balance
For a balanced argument, consider discussing both sides of the argument more equally, providing distinct paragraphs for each perspective before concluding with your opinion.
Supporting Examples
Use examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific, real-life examples can significantly enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your essays.
Paragraph Structure
Improving paragraph structure will greatly enhance the coherence of your essay. Start with a topic sentence, follow with supporting sentences, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes or transitions to the next point.
Language and Vocabulary
Work on varying your sentence structure and using a range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to better demonstrate your language skills.
Understanding
You've shown an understanding of the topic and attempted to address the prompt.
Personal Engagement
Your engagement with the subject matter and your personal stance bring a valuable perspective to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: