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Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #school #students #study #news #subjects #waste #time
Education is the most powerful asset of a person . Educated youth is the backbone of the nation
therefore
 parents are very concerned about their studies. In the midst of change , society has been divided into two groups as per the distinct mindsets of different folks . There is a colossal number of people who believe that secondary school students should study international current affairs
along with
 the main subjects
while
on the contrary
 , some communities opine with the notion . They claim that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time and it is better to stay fully focused on the main subjects . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion somewhere
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 vehemently Agree with the first notion . In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my point of view.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement, consider integrating more specific examples that support your opinion. This would make your argument more convincing and grounded in reality.
Coherence and Cohesion
Though your essay demonstrates an impressive level of coherence, striving for even clearer transitions between ideas can boost cohesion significantly. Utilizing phrases that clearly signal the shift from one point to another helps maintain the flow and ensures the reader can follow your argument effortlessly.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, showcasing your strong grasp on the topic.
Task Response
You've articulated a clear personal stance on the issue, which is crucial for task achievement in opinion essays.
Logical Structure
Your essay structure is logical and makes your argument easy to follow, contributing to a higher coherence and cohesion score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global awareness
  • Critical thinking
  • Global citizenship
  • Cultural diversity
  • Communication skills
  • Historical context
  • World affairs
  • Academic subjects
  • Bias
  • Misinformation
  • Age-appropriate
  • Media literacy
  • Educational enrichment
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