Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.
Zoos
are hugely popular attractions for adults and children alike.With strict
protocol, the management can allow Add an article
the strict
community
to learn about Add an article
the community
animals
which could be apply
two ways of socialising. Because we have been seeing since the time of immemorial that man is a social animal.There are both merits and demerits to keeping the Change the verb form
be applied
animals
in zoos
I would like to enclose them with relevant examples.
To begin
with, zoos
play a paramount role in the tourism industry, which attracts community
across the globe both nationally and internationally.Fix the agreement mistake
communities
This
is an added advantage to the nation which will apparently increase the gross domestic product of the nation.
We are moving towards modernisation and one can witness green forests being cut down for the development of infrastructure,in such
instances animals
are left behind no clues and for safeguarding the wild animals
,we hugely depend on zoos
.Where zookeepers can take care of animals
with utmost care. And it is necessary for people to have knowledge about animals
to feed them,
and nurture them.
Remove the comma
apply
For example
: In the year 2021 Indian government bought nearly 20 cheetahs from South Africa , currently they are being
under the surveillance of a zoo in Unnecessary verb
apply
kuno
national park ,The state of Madhya Pradesh .Where the population of cheetah has been increased to 30. Which is a good sign.
Moving Change the capitalization
Kuno
further
, many youngsters are animal enthusiasts,where young people really provide rehabilitation centres for animals
.It can be seen that animals
feel safe in zoos
rather than the nature.Because nature is uncertain,no one can predict the
climate change and forest fires.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
,I strongly believe that animals
can be kept in zooss
which is more advantageous for the nations in all ways of development ,of an economy. Providing all the necessary requirements from the management and the government.Correct your spelling
zoos
Submitted by nandiniklakshman on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint with both sides of the argument discussed. To further enhance task response, make sure every paragraph clearly supports your view, aligning all points directly towards the central argument.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your argument. While the example of cheetahs in India is effective, additional examples or evidence would make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is logically organised. However, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Use linking phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' or 'In addition' to improve flow between ideas.
General Advice
Ensure consistency in tense and pay attention to grammatical accuracy for a more polished presentation.
Task Achievement
You've chosen a balanced approach by discussing both merits and demerits, which engages the reader effectively.
Task Achievement
Including an example of animal conservation efforts (cheetahs in Kuno National Park) provides a strong, real-world case in support of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and reflect your viewpoint well, effectively framing your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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