Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests comma and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the era of inflation , getting a
well paid
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well-paid
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job
is
everyones
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everyone's
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first preference . There are many qualifications people have to match to get a good
job
like education qualification , experience ,
achivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
and many
other
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others
show examples
. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to assertion . There is a colossal number of people who believe asking for personal information like hobbies , interests ,
marital
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and marital
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status
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
very beneficial to getting
suitable
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a suitable
show examples
job
.
Whether
Correct word choice
On
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on the contrary
, some communities opine with the notion they claim it's not necessary to mention
while
applying for a
job
. Somewhere
i
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I
show examples
vehemently Agree with the notion that asking
personal
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for personal
show examples
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
have
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has
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
proffer examples to justify my notion.
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Examples
Focus on giving specific examples to support your argument. Providing concrete examples can make your position stronger and more convincing.
Balanced Discussion
Ensure that you discuss both views thoroughly before stating your own opinion. While your position is clear, expanding on the opposing viewpoint can provide a more balanced discussion.
Grammar & Punctuation
Watch out for typos, minor grammar, and punctuation errors. Though these are small, paying attention to detail can enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Introduction
You've done well to introduce the topic and present your viewpoint clearly. This helps set the stage for your argument.
Structure
You've maintained a good structure in your essay, establishing a logical flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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