Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, the discussion about
people
's health
and the amount of consuming nutrients and other substances in food is prominent. Some individuals think that only people
should look after their own health
and diet. However
, others consider that governments have to take care of citizens' healthy lifestyles. This
essay will discuss both opposite opinions and give my viewpoint.
To begin
with, each person has his/her own body features, such
as the rate of metabolism, preferences in meals, flexibility and others. That is
to say, only people
know exactly their bodies, so it is easier for them to choose physical activities and specialized goods in order to improve health
. Moreover
, taking care of your well-being may increase your confidence and enrich your mental well-being. For example
, when I started to learn more about what types of products contain more or less sugar, I have become
more aware and informed in Wrong verb form
became
choices
of food. Correct pronoun usage
my choices
Additionally
, individual responsibility is really crucial nowadays, as only you can take care of yourself all the time.
On the other hand
, in some countries
the trend of consuming junk foodstuff and leading a non-active lifestyle may cause numerous problems in the countries' healthcare. Add a comma
countries,
For example
, there is a huge quantity of people
in America who are not mobile anymore because of such
issues, so the government is concerned about future
of the nation. In these cases, the government should take responsibility and involve Correct article usage
the future
health
trends, social
activities and provide access to healthy food options. Correct word choice
and social
Moreover
, governments of countries can decrease the percentage of overweight people
by using the aforementioned methods, as it is one of the rapidly developing humanity problems.
In conclusion, I believe that a combination of both opinions should be considered. While
individuals can choose sports and diets that are more appropriate for their well-being, the government should create a healthier environment for citizens and be aware that there is no rise in the percentage of overweight people
.Submitted by pusheen.sveta on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures further to enhance readability and engagement.
Task Achievement
Integrate more detailed examples to support your arguments, which can enhance the persuasive element of your essay.
Overall
Make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your discussion points and clearly states your opinion, ensuring it ties all parts of the essay together effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
You provided a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
You successfully discussed both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, demonstrating comprehensive task achievement.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the reference to the situation in America, helps ground your argument in reality.