IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.

#phones #gadgets #contact #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
 the rapid growth of technology , the world has come a long way
therefore
 the lifestyle of people has changed a lot in the past few years . In the midst of change , people
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 with new modern gadgets to make our lives easier and comfortable . Smartphones play an integral role in our lives . There are so many people who believe that smart gadgets have
discrease the face to face
Correct your spelling
decreased face-to-face
 meetings between friends . Society has been divided by the distinct mindsets of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. A colossal number of folks believe modern technology is a blessing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human society
while
on the contrary
 , some citizens claim that it has a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the statement
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my point of view.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide a more detailed discussion on how smartphones impact interpersonal relationships positively and negatively. Include specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a unique idea. Introduce your topic, discuss both viewpoints, and conclude with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a conclusion summarizing your main points and stating your opinion on the statement.
task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage for discussing the impact of smartphones on interpersonal relationships.
coherence cohesion
You've recognized that opinions on technology's impact are divided, which is a good starting point for discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: