IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years #summarise #features #comparisons #mins
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The bar charts illustrate information about the percentage of desktop
owners
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2002 to 2010(2002, 2004, 2006, 2008 and 2010). The second one expresses their 5 levels of study of
degree
Add an article
the degree
show examples
 of the
owners
, including absent of
highschool
 degree, graduated in the
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 level,
unsuccessed
Correct your spelling
successes
 in college, Bachelor’s degree and Postgraduate qualification, at the beginning year(2002) and the
last
 year(2010) of observing.
Overall
, it is noticeable that both graphs show the increasing trends during
this
8 years
Correct your spelling
8-year
 period. Focusing more on the first chart, the
computer
Correct quantifier usage
number of computer
show examples
owners
 increased
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 per
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
period, starting from 55
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 in 2002 and
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 75
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 in 2010. Turning to the second graph, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increasing trend of people who own
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 computer.
Furthermore
, in the lower education levels(ungraduated from
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 and in the
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 level), the data reveals that there were twice more of the
owners
 in 2010 compared to the year 2002.
However
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 increase in the higher levels of study which is around
20
Correct article usage
a 20
show examples
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words owners, highschool, percents with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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