Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university
students
want to learn other
subjects
in addition
to their main
subjects
.
While
others believe
to
Change preposition
in focusing
show examples
focus
studying
Change preposition
on studying
show examples
to get a particular qualification.
This
essay will explain both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
between
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
additional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
out of the priority course or
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on specific
skills
. The
students
want to learn other
subjects
in addition
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
main
subjects
due to
their curiosity or they find out the main
subjects
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not their passion. One of the benefits is they can learn new things and broaden their knowledge.
Furthermore
, it is beneficial for them to see something from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
different perspective.
This
circumstance fits
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
generalist jobs that require broad knowledge but just the surface information.
For instance
, public
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
, news anchor, and manager.
On the other hand
, others believe
to
Change preposition
in focusing
show examples
focus
on the main
subjects
. It will be beneficial to master the
skills
and keep the
students
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
to pursue the specific qualifications.
Consequently
, they can be an expert or specialist
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
specific field. It is important for jobs that require
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
particular
skills
such
as doctor, engineer, and lawyer. In conclusion,
between learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
subjects
or
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on the main
subjects
can be beneficial for
students
. In my perspective, it is more important for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
to know their main goals, as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
they can choose between
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two circumstances. It
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on career goals that will be pursued since people have different aims.
To be a
Verb problem
A
show examples
generalist can study
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjects
to see from
helicopter
Add an article
a helicopter
show examples
view, but a specialist should
focus
to learn
Change preposition
on learning
show examples
a particular
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular skill
particular skills
show examples
skills
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is structured cohesively around a single main idea.
Task Achievement
Develop your body paragraphs by expanding on your examples with more detail and explanation to support your arguments.
Language Accuracy
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow, and carefully proofread your essay for minor grammatical inaccuracies.
Task Achievement
You’ve effectively discussed both views and provided a clear personal opinion, which directly responds to the task requirement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to frame your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Successfully introduced contrasting viewpoints in a balanced manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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