IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some university
students
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 want to learn other
subjects
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in addition
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 to their main
subjects
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.
While
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 others believe
to
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in focusing
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focus
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studying
Change preposition
on studying
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 to get a particular qualification.
This
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 essay will explain both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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 between
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 additional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 out of the priority course or
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focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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 on specific
skills
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. The
students
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 want to learn other
subjects
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in addition
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their
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to their
show examples
 main
subjects
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due to
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 their curiosity or they find out the main
subjects
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not their passion. One of the benefits is they can learn new things and broaden their knowledge.
Furthermore
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, it is beneficial for them to see something from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 different perspective.
This
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 circumstance fits
for
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apply
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generalist jobs that require broad knowledge but just the surface information.
For instance
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, public
relation
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relations
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, news anchor, and manager.
On the other hand
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, others believe
to
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in focusing
show examples
focus
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 on the main
subjects
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. It will be beneficial to master the
skills
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 and keep the
students
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focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 to pursue the specific qualifications.
Consequently
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, they can be an expert or specialist
on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 specific field. It is important for jobs that require
the
Correct article usage
apply
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particular
skills
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such
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 as doctor, engineer, and lawyer. In conclusion,
between learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
subjects
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 or
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focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on the main
subjects
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 can be beneficial for
students
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. In my perspective, it is more important for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 to know their main goals, as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 they can choose between
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 two circumstances. It
depend
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depends
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 on career goals that will be pursued since people have different aims.
To be a
Verb problem
A
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 generalist can study
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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subjects
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 to see from
helicopter
Add an article
a helicopter
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 view, but a specialist should
focus
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to learn
Change preposition
on learning
show examples
a particular
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular skill
particular skills
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is structured cohesively around a single main idea.
Task Achievement
Develop your body paragraphs by expanding on your examples with more detail and explanation to support your arguments.
Language Accuracy
Try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow, and carefully proofread your essay for minor grammatical inaccuracies.
Task Achievement
You’ve effectively discussed both views and provided a clear personal opinion, which directly responds to the task requirement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to frame your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Successfully introduced contrasting viewpoints in a balanced manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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