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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph shows TV news viewing figures over a one-year period. Write a report of at least 150 words summarizing the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows TV news viewing figures over a one-year period. Write a report of at least 150 words summarizing the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph highlights data about the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who viewed TV channels four different times from
January
Use synonyms
 to
December
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who watched TV news at 6
pm
Use synonyms
 and 9.30
pm
Use synonyms
 witnessed downward trends despite some fluctuations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, at 1
pm
Use synonyms
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 remained relatively constant. Looking into detail, as regards
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6 clock’s news, it was observed by nearly 5
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
, after which it fluctuated until
December
Use synonyms
, accounting for 3.25
million
Use synonyms
 individuals. As for the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of viewers at 9
pm
Use synonyms
, it made up 3.1
million
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
 and it
then
Linking Words
 increased slightly to 3.8
million
Use synonyms
 in May. After that, it rose significantly to 3
million
Use synonyms
 in
December
Use synonyms
 after reaching 1.2
million
Use synonyms
 in August. If we look at the viewer’s rate at 11
pm
Use synonyms
, it began in May and fluctuated over the given period in question. Regarding 1
pm
Use synonyms
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals remained relatively the same. It accounted for 1.3
million
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
, after which it experienced fluctuations until
December
Use synonyms
, making up 1.3
million
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, january, december, pm, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 4 times.
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