Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Music

Use synonyms

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

should be replaced with technical courses in the school curriculum. From my perspective, science is a crucial subject but

music

Use synonyms

has its own reputation in a

student

Use synonyms

's career so

music

Use synonyms

cannot be discontinued. There are many reasons for

such

Linking Words

an opinion which will be examined

further

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

music

Use synonyms

helps a person to calm down and a

student

Use synonyms

feels relaxed when he

practise

Correct subject-verb agreement

practises

show examples

music

Use synonyms

. A lot of students complain about

pressures

Correct article usage

the pressures

show examples

they face

due to

Linking Words

competitive exams and

loads

Correct article usage

the loads

show examples

of homework they receive from their teachers.

However

Linking Words

, students who indulge in artistic subjects

along with

Linking Words

technical courses feel better. They do not have to suffer from

stress

Correct article usage

the stress

show examples

that comes from their studies. The reason can be exemplified

with

Change preposition

show examples

a study suggesting that playing a musical instrument or listening to

music

Use synonyms

before any exam helps a

student

Use synonyms

to score better and tackle the stress in a composed manner.

Moreover

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

assists an individual

to develop

Change preposition

in developing

show examples

a quality called inventiveness.

Music

Use synonyms

helps in generating creative ideas.

For instance

Linking Words

, Albert Einstein, a great scientist was an amateur violinist who loved to perform it in his free time. He once claimed that

music

Use synonyms

helped him

formulating

Wrong verb form

formulate

show examples

and

proving

Wrong verb form

prove

show examples

a myriad of his scientific laws because it impacted his

brain

Change noun form

brain's

show examples

energy to work in a certain way.

This

Linking Words

further

Linking Words

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

proven

Correct your spelling

proved

show examples

in numerous studies conducted after his death. In conclusion, there are artistic subjects that a

student

Use synonyms

might be interested in but never

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to pursue, it may have

serious

Add an article

a serious

show examples

impact on his inventive skills.

Also

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

acts as a stress

burster

Correct your spelling

buster

show examples

and increases

Correct article usage

the

show examples

overall

Linking Words

productivity of an individual.

Therefore

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

should be treated as an essential art.

KiranThu Apr 18 2024

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accuracy

Try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes to improve clarity.

coherence

Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance the flow of ideas.

development

Clarify and develop your main points further to strengthen your argument.

complexity

Include more nuanced viewpoints to add depth to your essay.

examples

Effective use of examples to support your arguments.

position

Maintained a clear position throughout the essay.

structure

Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The use of nuclear power as a clean energy source. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You see an advertisement for a product. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Tell your friend where you saw the advertisement Describe the product Explain why your friend should buy this product.

Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”