It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and not with a secondary education as they in any case will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is said that

children

Use synonyms

from undeveloped countries should

be having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

only the basic levels of

education

Use synonyms

as a result

Linking Words

of any

possibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

possibility

show examples

that they will not find a job later in the future.

However

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

does not

guaranteeing

Change the verb form

guarantee

show examples

one

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a job and career, it is more about cultivating

one

Use synonyms

to become a well-grown adult. It

is disagreed

Change to the active voice

disagrees

has disagreed

show examples

with the topic, and

this

Linking Words

will be analyzed by discussing the importance that

education

Use synonyms

can bring for

children

Use synonyms

and

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and the main purpose of

education

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

educatioin

Correct your spelling

education

can make great

differences

Fix the agreement mistake

difference

show examples

. In our early years, we absorb anything unfiltered. Later, in the teenage years, we learn the actions we saw, and we

replicate

Correct pronoun usage

replicate them

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is extremely

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

offer

Use synonyms

these

children

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rights and wrongs.

Also

Linking Words

, In

this

Linking Words

phase, they are developing

substaincially

Correct your spelling

substantially

both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

physical

Change the word

physically

show examples

and in mind, which makes it more important to

offer

Use synonyms

them

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and the skills needed for their lives.

For example

Linking Words

, in

school

Add a comma

school,

show examples

we teach how to communicate with

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

, we understand the manners that we should obey and the

prohibtions

Correct your spelling

prohibitions

prohibition

. On the opposite side,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they have not been educated, they can't tell the differences and might involved

into

Change preposition

show examples

illegal things. There are several

reserches

Correct your spelling

studies

showing that more

education

Use synonyms

can lead to

lower

Correct article usage

a lower

show examples

criminal

rate

Fix the agreement mistake

rates

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, it is crucial to

offer

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

with the right value,

this

Linking Words

can lead to different

Correct your spelling

pathways

show examples

path ways

Correct your spelling

pathways

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, the main purpose of teaching is to train

one

Use synonyms

equip

Wrong verb form

be equipped

show examples

with the ability to think, react, and

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

independently. Though we usually focus on academic subjects,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we are

actucally

Correct your spelling

actually

allowing student to grow their soft skills in the process.

For example

Linking Words

, we

offer

Use synonyms

different subjects

while

Linking Words

nearly no

one

Use synonyms

is interested in every subject. It is important to distinguish which intrigues you and which doesn't. Other than that, how would you confront

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the contents that you don't like

Change the punctuation

show examples

These are the most valuable treasures that

education

Use synonyms

could

offer

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

Education

Use synonyms

can train us to think and make

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

more widely with thought through consideration.

To sum up

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should be taking the same amount of

education

Use synonyms

regardless of the employment situation. It is vital for them to understand the values in the world, which can help them avoid some serious consequences.

Also

Linking Words

, being in school is all about providing an environment similar to society, we need to learn how to think, react, and

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

the right

desicion

Correct your spelling

decision

. There is nothing more important than a mature mentality.

lil40629890Sat Apr 20 2024

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introduction

Try to start with a clear introduction that succinctly states your position on the topic. Use a thesis statement to guide the reader.

coherence

Enhance logical flow by using more transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas to link them more clearly.

cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported by relevant examples or further explanation.

grammar

Be mindful of spelling and grammar to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing. Minor errors like 'educatioin' instead of 'education' can distract the reader.

specific examples

To elevate your argument, include more specific, real-world examples to back up your points. This could provide more convincing evidence for your position.

conclusion

Revise the conclusion to clearly restate your argument and summarize the main points made in the essay. This helps reinforce your position to the reader.

content

Your essay provides a thoughtful argument on the importance of education beyond merely securing a job, which is a strong and relevant point.

insight

You've shown an understanding of the broader purposes of education, such as developing critical thinking skills and moral values, which enriches your argument.

example

Your use of examples, such as the impact of education on reducing crime rates and the importance of learning communication and manners, supports your argument effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

411 words

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It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and not with a secondary education as they in any case will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Aircraft have been increasingly used for transport fruit and vegetable to some country where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had huge negative effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

The rise of social media has affected personal relatioships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?