It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and not with a secondary education as they in any case will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree?
It is said that
children
from undeveloped countries should be having
only the basic levels of Wrong verb form
have
education
, as a result
of any possibilities
that they will not find a job later in the future. Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
However
, education
does not guaranteeing
Change the verb form
guarantee
one
for
a job and career, it is more about cultivating Change preposition
apply
one
to become a well-grown adult. It is disagreed
with the topic, and Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed
this
will be analyzed by discussing the importance that education
can bring for children
and job
and the main purpose of Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
education
.
Firstly
, educatioin
can make great Correct your spelling
education
differences
. In our early years, we absorb anything unfiltered. Later, in the teenage years, we learn the actions we saw, and we Fix the agreement mistake
difference
replicate
. Correct pronoun usage
replicate them
Thus
, this
is extremely importance
to Replace the word
important
offer
these children
, the
rights and wrongs. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, In this
phase, they are developing substaincially
both Correct your spelling
substantially
in
Change preposition
apply
physical
and in mind, which makes it more important to Change the word
physically
offer
them knowledges
and the skills needed for their lives. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
For example
, in school
we teach how to communicate with Add a comma
school,
other
, we understand the manners that we should obey and the Fix the agreement mistake
others
prohibtions
. On the opposite side, Correct your spelling
prohibitions
prohibition
which
they have not been educated, they can't tell the differences and might involved Correct pronoun usage
apply
into
illegal things. There are several Change preposition
in
reserches
showing that more Correct your spelling
studies
education
can lead to lower
criminal Correct article usage
a lower
rate
. Fix the agreement mistake
rates
Thus
, it is crucial to offer
children
with the right value, this
can lead to different Correct your spelling
pathways
path ways
Correct your spelling
pathways
Secondly
, the main purpose of teaching is to train one
to equip
with the ability to think, react, and Wrong verb form
be equipped
chose
independently. Though we usually focus on academic subjects, Wrong verb form
choose
yet
we are Correct word choice
apply
actucally
allowing student to grow their soft skills in the process. Correct your spelling
actually
For example
, we offer
different subjects while
nearly no one
is interested in every subject. It is important to distinguish which intrigues you and which doesn't. Other than that, how would you confront with
the contents that you don't likeChange preposition
apply
.
These are the most valuable treasures that Change the punctuation
?
education
could offer
. Therefore
, Education
can train us to think and make decision
more widely with thought through consideration.
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
To sum up
, children
should be taking the same amount of education
regardless of the employment situation. It is vital for them to understand the values in the world, which can help them avoid some serious consequences. Also
, being in school is all about providing an environment similar to society, we need to learn how to think, react, and making
the right Wrong verb form
make
desicion
. There is nothing more important than a mature mentality.Correct your spelling
decision
Submitted by lil40629890 on
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introduction
Try to start with a clear introduction that succinctly states your position on the topic. Use a thesis statement to guide the reader.
coherence
Enhance logical flow by using more transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas to link them more clearly.
cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported by relevant examples or further explanation.
grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammar to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing. Minor errors like 'educatioin' instead of 'education' can distract the reader.
specific examples
To elevate your argument, include more specific, real-world examples to back up your points. This could provide more convincing evidence for your position.
conclusion
Revise the conclusion to clearly restate your argument and summarize the main points made in the essay. This helps reinforce your position to the reader.
content
Your essay provides a thoughtful argument on the importance of education beyond merely securing a job, which is a strong and relevant point.
insight
You've shown an understanding of the broader purposes of education, such as developing critical thinking skills and moral values, which enriches your argument.
example
Your use of examples, such as the impact of education on reducing crime rates and the importance of learning communication and manners, supports your argument effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?