IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives data on the proportion of children respects to the total young population in the UK between 1990 and 2001. The proportion of children are categories in four age groups.

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The graph compares four distinct
age
Use synonyms
 categories based on the percentage of children to the
overall
Linking Words
 juvenile population in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 between 1990 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of the children experienced different trends over the given periods.
While
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 10-14 witnessed a
consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
constant
 surge from the lowest to the highest point, the 0-4
age
Use synonyms
 category plunged, making their rank change, from the second to the
last
Linking Words
 rank in 2001. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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, the other categories saw
a dramatic fluctuations
Correct the article-noun agreement
dramatic fluctuations
a dramatic fluctuation
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. Started with about 26% in 1991, the
group
Use synonyms
 of 0-4
age
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 saw a small rise to approximately 26.5% in 1992 before falling steadily until it reached a low of roughly 23.5% in 2001. The figure for
5
Correct article usage
the 5
show examples
-9
age
Use synonyms
group
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 began from just nearly 25% in 1990 and grew significantly to a little over 26% in 1997,
then
Linking Words
 it dropped gradually to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
just over 25 in 2001.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
group
Use synonyms
 of 10-14
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
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continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
 from just above 23% to more than 26%,
surpassed
Wrong verb form
surpassing
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 the
group
Use synonyms
 of 0-4, 5-9, and 15-19 in 1992, 1995, and 1997, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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