The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
The graph illustrates worldwide
water
expenditure in three departments between 1900 and 2000.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the chart
similarly
provides data about
water
consumption but in different categories in
Congo
and
Brazil
in 2000.
Overall
,
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
is evident that the total
water
consumption in
Agriculture
Correct article usage
the Agriculture
show examples
, Industry and Domestic sectors experienced a significant increase over the
100 year
Add a hyphen
100-year
show examples
period, with
with
Remove the redundancy
apply
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Agriculture purposes possessing the largest amount
while
Private users
having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the lowest.
In addition
,
Brazil
spent
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
substantially more
water
overall
and per person than
Congo
. Looking at the details, rising from around 500kg cubic meters in 1900 to about 1200 m3 in 1950,
water
usage for
Agriculturals
Correct your spelling
agricultural
reasons
then
exponentially increased to reach 3000 m3 in 2000 .
Furhermore
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Furthermore
, The figures for
Indutries
Correct your spelling
industries
and houses are relatively
simialar
Correct your spelling
similar
during the first 50 years, with both gradually rising from a mere 50 m3 to about 200 m3. After that, they witnessed a
considerabke
Correct your spelling
considerable
increase to around 1300 m3 and 500 m3 respectively.
On the other hand
,
Brazil
used
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
much larger
water
for every person than
Congo
, with 359 m3 and
8m3
Correct your spelling
8 m3
respectively. It is noteworthy that
Brazil
's population ( 176 million) and Area ( 26500 km2) both outnumber the
Congo
, having 5.2 million people and
100km2
Correct article usage
a 100km2
show examples
land area.
Submitted by soroush.nezami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, congo, brazil, m with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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