IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently ordered something online; when you opened the packet the product was damaged with which you were disappointed Write an email to the company in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things: • Explain what you ordered and what the condition of the product was when you opened it. • Explain the importance of the product. • Ask for the replacement of the respective commodity.

#packet #product #email #company #condition #importance #replacement #commodity
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Dear sir, I am writing to address a concerning issue regarding a recent order I placed on your online page. Specifically, I purchased a beautiful
denner
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Denner
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 set from Maya Home Decor as a
birthday
 gift for my sister, a purchase made with excitement and anticipation.
However
, upon receiving the package and eagerly opening it in preparation for her
birthday
 celebration, I was dismayed to find that the
denner
Correct your spelling
dinner
 set was damaged. The delicate pieces were cracked and chipped, significantly diminishing the intended joy and surprise of the gift.
This
denner
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Denner
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 set holds great importance as it was meant to be a special and memorable gift for my sister's
birthday
, symbolizing our bond and shared moments of celebration. Its aesthetic appeal and functional utility were carefully chosen to complement her home and enhance her hosting experiences. Given the unfortunate condition in which the
denner
Correct your spelling
dinner
 set arrived, I kindly request your immediate assistance in arranging a replacement. I believe
this
 would not only rectify the situation but
also
 uphold the reputation of your brand for quality products and customer satisfaction. I have attached images clearly depicting the extent of the damage for your reference
and
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apply
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the order number was KX453454 and it was delivered on 24/05/24.| Thank you for your attention to
this
 matter. I eagerly await your prompt response and the replacement of the damaged
denner
Correct your spelling
dinner
 set in time for my sister's
birthday
.
Submitted by Alma Islam on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, using cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, continue to provide specific details and examples relevant to your claim for increased persuasion.
coherence cohesion
The email logically progresses from the issue, to its significance, to a resolution request, demonstrating strong organization.
task achievement
The writer successfully addresses all components of the task with clear and comprehensive explanations and requests, showcasing excellent task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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