Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals claim that all
subjects
should be taught to
children
at school,
however
, proponents say that they should only engage in
subjects
they are interested in or talented
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Although
I agree that
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
which covers all
subjects
can be better for
children
, I argue that
children
should study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some specific lessons that they have an interest
and
Change preposition
in and
show examples
skills. On the one hand, supporters consider that study for
children
has to cover all branches of
subjects
at school.
Furthermore
, it is undeniable that being informed about all
subjects
can be better for
children
's educational development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they can have a variety of knowledge of
subjects
. So, it contributes to young people
to broaden
Change the verb form
broadening
show examples
their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
, and they can easily make connections among
subjects
without confusion.
Thus
, enrolling in many
subjects
is beneficial for
children
's knowledge background.
On the other hand
, some individuals, including me, think that engaging in some
subjects
which
children
are successful and amazed. It is obvious that learning several lessons which
children
work more
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
and
productive
Change the word
productively
show examples
, so after
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
young individuals have enough time to find hobbies and improve their
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
motor skills
instead
of spending their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trying to complete tasks
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
subjects
which they are not
exhiting
Correct your spelling
excited
about them.
Moreover
, it gives an opportunity to
children
that they can focus on their gifted sides and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
develop them, and it
providdes
Correct your spelling
provides
young people to achieve success quickly in their education life.
To conclude
, there are some
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
about studying how many
subjects
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some people believe that teaching all
subjects
to
children
is essential for creating wide views,
whereas
others think that having
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
subjects
for
children
's talents and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
has a significant impact on education life and being succesful in their future.
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples from personal experience or observed outcomes to reinforce your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on enriching the transition between paragraphs for a more seamless flow of ideas.
Language Usage
Diversify your vocabulary to better express nuanced opinions and to avoid repetition.
Task Achievement
Effective introduction of both viewpoints and clear statement of your own stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good use of an essay structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • discover their interests and strengths
  • basic understanding
  • interconnected world
  • higher motivation
  • deeper knowledge
  • mental health
  • reducing unnecessary stress
  • boredom
  • balanced approach
  • successful specialization
  • well-informed perspective
  • solid general education
  • freedom to delve deeper
  • specialized future career path
What to do next:
Look at other essays: