Some people think that all children should learn about history at school. Others however, believe that other subjects are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A lot of individuals argue that all kids must study ancient cultures and civilians at kindergartens.
However
, another
people believe that recent materials are more practical for young Replace the adjective
other
students
. So , is the later
view Correct your spelling
latter
are
the best for children or the initial?
On one hand, without any Unnecessary verb
apply
doubt
the Add a comma
doubt,
history
of any nations
may Fix the agreement mistake
nation
be constitute
the most important part of Change the verb form
constitute
their
formation. What is more, the Correct pronoun usage
its
history
of states not
Add a missing verb
is not
mere
subject, but Correct article usage
a mere
express
their cultures , accomplishments and even their Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
currently
century. Change the word
current
For example
, each states in the world have special
Add an article
a special
day
every year and in
Change preposition
apply
this
day
their are celebrate
Wrong verb form
celebrated
by
Change preposition
as
his
national Correct pronoun usage
its
day
and
a lot of developing countries organised Correct word choice
apply
autonomy
Correct your spelling
Autonomy Day
day
. For this
, the history
of nations have
to be Change the verb form
has
learning
by all kids .
Wrong verb form
learned
On the other hand
, a enormous experts
Correct quantifier usage
number of experts
bileve
that Correct your spelling
believe
the
educational institutions must be teaching only recent subjects. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, these materials may be more useful for students
and parpared
them Correct your spelling
prepared
prepare
to
their futuristic jobs . Change preposition
for
For instance
, these days the
job marketing requires excellent Correct article usage
apply
qualification
and soft Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
skills
power such
as everyone should be have more than one language and also
have
to be perfect with Wrong verb form
having
computers
Change the noun form
computer
skills
. For this
, any teaching services must be provided
Wrong verb form
provide
Add the preposition
with this
this
Correct determiner usage
these
skills
for theirs
Correct the word
their
students
and must not wasting
their Change the verb form
waste
be wasting
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
in
Change preposition
on
undersible
subjects in the future.
Correct your spelling
undesirable
underside
To sum up
, although
the
soft Correct article usage
apply
skills
power are more practical and consider
the key Wrong verb form
are considered
for
the success in future, but Change preposition
to
also
the history
of any nations
is Fix the agreement mistake
nation
very
important. So, I believe that any Rephrase
also very
students
should study Fix the agreement mistake
student
the
Correct article usage
apply
history
to know more and more about his country and also
about the world.Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on clearer topic sentences to introduce your paragraphs. This helps readers understand your main points immediately.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to show relationships between ideas more clearly. This enhances the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This makes your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on your essay structuring, ensuring you have a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This clarity helps in presenting your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a distinct main idea. Avoid mixing different ideas within the same paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay shows a balanced view by discussing both perspectives before providing a clear conclusion with your own opinion.
task achievement
You effectively demonstrate understanding of the essay topic, making efforts to cover multiple viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The essay's Introduction and Conclusion are present, which is fundamentals for a structured response.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?