Some people think that all children should learn about history at school. Others however, believe that other subjects are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A lot of individuals argue that all kids must study ancient cultures and civilians at kindergartens.
However
,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people believe that recent materials are more practical for young
students
. So , is the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
view
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best for children or the initial? On one hand, without any
doubt
Add a comma
doubt,
show examples
the
history
of any
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
may
be constitute
Change the verb form
constitute
show examples
the most important part of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
formation. What is more, the
history
of states
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
mere
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
subject, but
express
Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
show examples
their cultures , accomplishments and even their
currently
Change the word
current
show examples
century.
For example
, each states in the world have
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
day
every year and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
day
their are
celebrate
Wrong verb form
celebrated
show examples
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
national
day
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a lot of developing countries organised
autonomy
Correct your spelling
Autonomy Day
show examples
day
. For
this
, the
history
of nations
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be
learning
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
by all kids .
On the other hand
, a enormous
experts
Correct quantifier usage
number of experts
show examples
bileve
Correct your spelling
believe
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutions must be teaching only recent subjects.
In addition
, these materials may be more useful for
students
and
parpared
Correct your spelling
prepared
prepare
them
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their futuristic jobs .
For instance
, these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job marketing requires excellent
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
and soft
skills
power
such
as everyone should be have more than one language and
also
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
to be perfect with
computers
Change the noun form
computer
show examples
skills
. For
this
, any teaching services must
be provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
Add the preposition
with this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
skills
for
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
students
and must not
wasting
Change the verb form
waste
be wasting
show examples
their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
undersible
Correct your spelling
undesirable
underside
subjects in the future.
To sum up
,
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft
skills
power are more practical and
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
show examples
the key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the success in future, but
also
the
history
of any
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
is
very
Rephrase
also very
show examples
important. So, I believe that any
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
should study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
to know more and more about his country and
also
about the world.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on clearer topic sentences to introduce your paragraphs. This helps readers understand your main points immediately.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to show relationships between ideas more clearly. This enhances the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This makes your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on your essay structuring, ensuring you have a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This clarity helps in presenting your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a distinct main idea. Avoid mixing different ideas within the same paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay shows a balanced view by discussing both perspectives before providing a clear conclusion with your own opinion.
task achievement
You effectively demonstrate understanding of the essay topic, making efforts to cover multiple viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The essay's Introduction and Conclusion are present, which is fundamentals for a structured response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • relevant
  • modern career opportunities
  • financial literacy
  • computer skills
  • well-rounded education
  • practical subjects
  • valuable lessons
  • past mistakes and successes
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