In some countries, university students live at home with their families while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
It is widely
thinking
that Wrong verb form
thought
students
study at the university
but also
live at home
with their family compared to attending university
in another city. I believe that the drawbacks of living away their
family in Change preposition
from their
university
time are eclipsed by the benefits.
On the one hand, some may argue that student study
at Wrong verb form
studying
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
should not live away from their home
city because it may contribute several detrimental effect
to them. Regarding the first reason, if Change to a plural noun
effects
students
live to
far from their Replace the word
too
parents
, it will be hard for their parents
to take care and look after of
their children. Change preposition
apply
For example
, some students
do not have independence, their parents
can lead them into the right way to learn.
Conversely
, I take a view that this
circumstance offers to go to another city for university
. Indeed, students
can be free in the way they are studying, hanging out with the
friends and so on. Some Change the word
their
parents
do not want their children join
in some occasions or some trips with their friends or schools because they think those activities are Add the particle
to join
unprofiable
so they do not let their children Correct your spelling
unprofitable
profitable
to
go. Another supporting view is that Change the verb form
apply
students
can have more knowledge by
many new Change preposition
through
experience
in Change to a plural noun
experiences
the
new location that they have never known before. Correct article usage
a
For example
, I lived in countryside
, but when I turned to the main step of my life Add an article
the countryside
is go
to Wrong verb form
was going
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
, I was choosing
to live away from my Wrong verb form
chose
home
to study and experience in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
a
difference
style Replace the word
different
living
.
In conclusion, despite all the Change preposition
of living
Correct your spelling
mentioned
mentiones
drawbacks that Correct your spelling
mentioned
students
may have when they go to university
too far from their home
, I hold a belief that Correct article usage
the benefit
benefit
of it weigh heavier.Correct article usage
the benefit
Submitted by aitam.dothi on
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Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well developed with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Start with a clear introductory sentence that presents your main argument or stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, succinctly summarise your main points to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
For a higher score, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more precisely.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.