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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part In organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to lean how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
Some people say that parents are responsible for their
children
 to take part in
group
 activities in their leisure time,
while
 some say
children
 should develop themselves. In my opinion, all
children
 have different capabilities and should let them learn on their own. It is true that caretakers should encourage their little ones to participate in the activities which are often organised in groups. As they can learn and adopt certain skills within the
group
 in which they take part. Often,
children
 try to imitate other
children
 in the
group
 which tends towards brain development. Socialisation is another benefit of being in the
group
.
For instance
, participating teenagers in local events, where he or she can socialise with other teenagers can turn out to be a socialistic habit.
On the other hand
, if a youngster is allowed to learn by themselves, they can gain more expertise.
Self learning
Add a hyphen
Self-learning
show examples
 has proven to be one of the best ways to acquire skills. In conclusion, self-learning is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better way for
children
 rather than urging them to take part in organized groups. As they can adopt better learning and can be self-dependent.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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Relevance
Elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Task Response
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion.
Coherence
Consider using a wider range of linking devices for smoother transitions between ideas.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your stance effectively.
Logical Structure
You’ve managed to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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