IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

what is the causes and effects of water pollution? what are the solutions?

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Nowadays, the pollution of nature is stronger than ever
due to
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 the advancements in technology, particularly the ocean and seas are the most affected by it.
This
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 essay will examine the cause of
this
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 issue and try to give it a possible solution. To start with, one of the most obvious
causes
Use synonyms
 of
this
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 problem is the extraction of resources
such
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 as oil on many oil rigs across the waters.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
this
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causes
Use synonyms
 a myriad of trouble for the waters, the most clear being
it's
Replace the word
its
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 spillage which coats the surrounding aquatic environment in black gold, poisoning and suffocating the sea life that were unfortunate enough to be covered in it,
as well as
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 killing all the plant life underwater like seaweeds
for instance
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.
This
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 dilemma can be tackled by improving the various safety measurements on drilling rigs
besides
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 hiring
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
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 reaction teams that quickly cleanse the area of the
sptrinkle
Correct your spelling
sprinkle
sprinkler
.
Secondly
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, the contamination of the blue
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 particularly from the products of human life
such
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 as the usage of soap
for instance
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. Most of the wastewater is dumped into sewer systems where they
further
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 leak into seaway.
This
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causes
Use synonyms
 a lot of complications
such
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 as the
most clear
Change the adjective
clearest
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 ones being the destruction of the ecosystem and the nearby zone being toxic for the citizens. To solve
this
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 headache, national government and ecological activists could encourage the reduced use of liquids
in addition
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 to
contructing
Correct your spelling
constructing
 many wastewater treatment plants that will cleanse the dirty water and allow
further
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 reuse. In conclusion,
impurity
Correct article usage
the impurity
show examples
 of
seven
Correct article usage
the seven
show examples
 seas
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from many sources, human activity
in particular
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 being the most destructive one for the biosphere. Not only the more complex activities
such
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 as harvesting fuel that
Use synonyms
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 taint by oil leakage, but the everyday
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 like washing your hands or dishes may cause
this
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, turning to what can be done to solve
this
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, sewage treatment stations and reduction of utilization can come to mind
first,
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followed by organizing better measurements in case of coating.

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coherence cohesion
You've done a good job in structuring your essay, clearly dividing it into paragraphs and maintaining a logical flow. Try to further enhance the connectivity between the ideas using a wider range of cohesive devices.
task achievement
While you have introduced relevant examples and arguments, ensuring a more varied use of language and sentence structures could enhance the overall clarity and sophistication of your ideas.
task achievement
Remember to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor spelling and grammatical mistakes. Although they're small, polishing these aspects can elevate your writing.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the causes, effects, and solutions to water pollution, reflecting a strong understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion that effectively bookend your discussion, contributing to a solid organizational structure.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples to illustrate the causes and solutions to water pollution enhances the overall persuasive and informative quality of your essay.
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