Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Main subjects in
university
are the most important for
students
whereas
other
students
think they must
study
different subjects and they don’t need to expend time to do
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjectsubjects
Correct your spelling
subject subjects
,in
this
essay I discuss both views and
then
I give my opinion. What happens if we just pay attention to my subject at
university
we can’t
opportunities
Add a missing verb
have opportunities
show examples
to try
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
skillskills
Correct your spelling
skill skills
skills kills
,
firstly
, humans have some talents and some people can
study
some skills very well and If we don’t try to experience
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
skillskills
Correct your spelling
skill skills
skills kills
I will know I can develop in that
work
,
for example
, I read about an actor that he started
work
in a supermarket after that he was anxious and he applied for some culture companies so he tried to test another
skillskills
Correct your spelling
skill skills
skills kills
, you think If he wasn’t brave and don’t try he wouldn’t be an actor.
secondly
,because many
job
managers hire employees
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
work
as volunteers, all of the
students
need to
work
in other fields and get some experience to
increasing
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
their chances. Focusing on one subject is important , I remember I read a book that was written about how doing one
work
is important,
on the other hand
, nowadays a lot of jobs need expert employees and many
university
students
like to get a good
job
next finishing their
university
so they like to get a
job
as easy as pie you must
study
very well, plus since get a good score is important things to the student for apply to better
university
for continue their subject in master , they must
study
carefully. In sum ,my opinion is learning about different subjects is winning in the end .I know in many conditions we must
experts
Add a missing verb
be experts
show examples
but in my mind a person who
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
many skills will be able to get a good
job
and get up a statue.
Submitted by poriaprashidi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure more control over sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs for each view with a separate introductory and concluding paragraph to improve the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Work on more precisely addressing the prompt by providing a balanced discussion of both views and clearly stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to effectively illustrate your points and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You've provided examples to support your points, which is a key aspect of a good essay.
general
Your enthusiasm for the topic is clear and adds to the engagement of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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