IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Main subjects in
university
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 are the most important for
students
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whereas
Linking Words
 other
students
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 think they must
study
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 different subjects and they don’t need to expend time to do
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjectsubjects
Correct your spelling
subject subjects
,in
this
Linking Words
 essay I discuss both views and
then
Linking Words
 I give my opinion. What happens if we just pay attention to my subject at
university
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 we can’t
opportunities
Add a missing verb
have opportunities
show examples
 to try
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
skillskills
Correct your spelling
skill skills
skills kills
,
firstly
Linking Words
 , humans have some talents and some people can
study
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 some skills very well and If we don’t try to experience
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
skillskills
Correct your spelling
skill skills
skills kills
 I will know I can develop in that
work
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 ,
for example
Linking Words
, I read about an actor that he started
work
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 in a supermarket after that he was anxious and he applied for some culture companies so he tried to test another
skillskills
Correct your spelling
skill skills
skills kills
, you think If he wasn’t brave and don’t try he wouldn’t be an actor.
secondly
Linking Words
,because many
job
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 managers hire employees
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
work
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 as volunteers, all of the
students
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 need to
work
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 in other fields and get some experience to
increasing
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
 their chances. Focusing on one subject is important , I remember I read a book that was written about how doing one
work
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 is important,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, nowadays a lot of jobs need expert employees and many
university
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students
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 like to get a good
job
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 next finishing their
university
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 so they like to get a
job
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 as easy as pie you must
study
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 very well, plus since get a good score is important things to the student for apply to better
university
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 for continue their subject in master , they must
study
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 carefully. In sum ,my opinion is learning about different subjects is winning in the end .I know in many conditions we must
experts
Add a missing verb
be experts
show examples
 but in my mind a person who
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study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
 many skills will be able to get a good
job
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 and get up a statue.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure more control over sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs for each view with a separate introductory and concluding paragraph to improve the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Work on more precisely addressing the prompt by providing a balanced discussion of both views and clearly stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to effectively illustrate your points and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You've provided examples to support your points, which is a key aspect of a good essay.
general
Your enthusiasm for the topic is clear and adds to the engagement of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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