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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph gives data about the number of users of five different communication services worldwide from 1998 to 2008.

The line graph gives data about the number of users of five different communication services worldwide from 1998 to 2008.
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The Line chart illustrates how many
number of
Correct quantifier usage
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customers used communication services all over the world in five various companies between 1998 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Landline
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 topped the year in the beginning but in the end, Cellular phone
service
Use synonyms
 was the most dominant type .Despite
this
Linking Words
, Fixed broadband was reported the least in their contributions. In 1998,
Landline
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 topped the year but in the end, they finished as the third
most
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highest users
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Cellular phone
service
Use synonyms
 started to rise from the beginning and there was a clash in the figure at 17% in 2002 with
landline
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
. After that, it still continued to grow in an upward direction and hitting the top of the chart by 60% in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Internet
service
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 rose from the initial stage and
then
Linking Words
 crossed the
landline
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 in almost 2006 with 20% respectively.
While
Linking Words
,
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 the
last
Linking Words
 one was
the
Correct article usage
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fixed broadband with a stable trend until 2005 and after
it
Correct pronoun usage
that it
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was
Unnecessary verb
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increased gradually and stopped at 4% in the next three years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words landline, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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