International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
There are different views on the impact of international tourism.
While
some people
believe it will harm indigenous people
and their environment due to
the disrespectful and reckless behaviours, I still think the benefits outweigh the downsides because it helps countries to progressively have a good fiscal condition.
To begin
with the negative impacts, the presence of international tourists
can possess
threats to local Verb problem
pose
people
,
since they tend to act Remove the comma
apply
disrespectful
toward local cultures. Some of them might find unfamiliar values that sometimes Change the word
disrespectfully
not
align with their Add a missing verb
do not
owns
, which can make them behave rudely toward local traditions and indigenous Wrong verb form
own
people
. This
condition has been occurred a few years ago in Dayak, Kalimantan. Some African tourists
have been severely punished because they were spitting on one of the local tour guides that
Correct pronoun usage
who
gives
Wrong verb form
gave
explanation
about the sacred white stones, which turned out Add an article
an explanation
has
a different historical value from Change the verb form
to have
them
. Correct pronoun usage
theirs
However
, I think this
problem can be addressed by distributing a special handbook to introduce the local culture alongside its value, thus
makes
the visitors can do a brief skim on what they will hear during the trip.
Wrong verb form
making
Moreover
, it also
harms the surrounding environments
because Fix the agreement mistake
environment
tourists
can be reckless. Due to
their initial visit to some countries, there is a likelihood that they will be fascinated with landscapes or findings that they see during their trip, which possibly fail them to notice some warning and careful signs that has
been issued. Change the verb form
have
This
phenomenon has been experienced by Bandi, an Indian tourist who visited the Sumateran
Jungle two years ago to Correct your spelling
Sumatran
witnessing
the Rafflesia Arnoldi flower. Because he was too mesmerized Change the form of the verb
witness
with
the flower’s appearance, he accidentally stepped on the other Rafflesia flowers. Change preposition
by
Nevertheless
, I think this
situation can be handled by imposing a strict regulation to control visitor’s behaviours when they visit certain places.
Despite the drawbacks, international tourism has a remarkable contribution to the
local and national fiscal growth. Correct article usage
apply
This
benefit has been seen in Indonesia, which was reported to have a subtle increase on
their national income by 35% Change preposition
in
last
year, due to
the influx of foreign visitors to Bali. Specifically on the local scale, the arrival of tourists
has been stated by some sellers of street vendors in Bali as their primary source of income that eventually help
them to afford daily needs. From those facts, Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
therefore
, I firmly believe that the positive outcomes have more
significant impact since Correct article usage
a more
it
can gradually increase the economic condition of local Correct pronoun usage
they
people
and the country.
To conclude
, even though the arrival of international tourists
can possibly possess
dangers to local Verb problem
pose
people
and the surroundings
environment because they can act Fix the agreement mistake
surrounding
disrespectful
and Change the word
disrespectfully
reckless
during their visit, I still think that the Change the word
recklessly
given
benefit Verb problem
apply
to
helping locals and the country have a better financial state, far outweighs the downsides.Change preposition
of
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task response
Provide a more nuanced argument by discussing contrasting viewpoints more thoroughly to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to clearly connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To further improve, consider varying sentence structures and lengths to enhance readability and engagement.
task response
Effective use of relevant examples to support arguments.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good logical structure that makes it easier to follow your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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