Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
Currently, in our world
people
's minds according to
their working conditions have a concept of big salary
is much more important than job
satisfaction.I strongly agree, with this
statement because at the moment working at the
well-paid Correct article usage
a
job
is more important than pursuing your favourite work.In this
essay , I will consider this
a little further
.
On the one hand, in people
's mind's intention is the pursue a job
and how much they receive more money and this
intention starts at the ages of 17,18 and 19 because at this
time human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
start
by worrying about that.Fix the infinitive
to start
Firstly
, we definitely encounter to
engagement Change preposition
apply
situation
and in our marriage time, if we don't work and receive enough money every month , we can not deliver the Fix the agreement mistake
situations
salary
properly and adequately to the family.Secondly
, I believe that receiving a big salary
from a job
is job
satisfaction because we can live out our life happily with money.For instance
,relating to this
topic,when we purchase a prominent brand-new car or earn respect from other people
,eventually we feel more confident and satisfied in our lives.
On the other hand
,we may find the people
who are pleasured by their jobs because it is enough for them.From my perspective, that kind of people
's main ambition is living by what they love , this
may include a job
, favourite person or wife , etcetera.However
,they need always paying well-salary
jobs in order to gain satisfactory
for human needs.
In conclusion, I believe, a big Replace the word
satisfaction
salary
always
needed and important for Add a missing verb
is always
people
.Big
Correct article usage
A big
salary
is much more important than job
satisfaction.Submitted by dilmurodmingishov on
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task achievement
Clarify your argumentation by providing more concrete examples and detailed explanations to support your points. This will enhance the completeness and depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should clearly support a distinct idea, and the connection between them should be more explicit.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to improve readability and make your essay more engaging. Simple sentences can be effective, but variety adds complexity and sophistication.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion throughout the essay, which is good for maintaining a consistent argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, even if they could be enhanced for greater impact.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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