Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

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Currently, in our world
people
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's minds
according to
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their working conditions have a concept of big
salary
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is much more important than
job
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satisfaction.I strongly agree, with
this
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statement because at the moment working at
the
Correct article usage
a
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well-paid
job
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is more important than pursuing your favourite work.In
this
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essay , I will consider
this
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a little
further
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. On the one hand, in
people
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's mind's intention is the pursue a
job
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and how much they receive more money and
this
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intention starts at the ages of 17,18 and 19 because at
this
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time
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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start
Fix the infinitive
to start
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by worrying about that.
Firstly
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, we definitely encounter
to
Change preposition
apply
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engagement
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
and in our marriage time, if we don't work and receive enough money every month , we can not deliver the
salary
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properly and adequately to the family.
Secondly
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, I believe that receiving a big
salary
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from a
job
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is
job
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satisfaction because we can live out our life happily with money.
For instance
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,relating to
this
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topic,when we purchase a prominent brand-new car or earn respect from other
people
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,eventually we feel more confident and satisfied in our lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,we may find the
people
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who are pleasured by their jobs because it is enough for them.From my perspective, that kind of
people
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's main ambition is living by what they love ,
this
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may include a
job
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, favourite person or wife , etcetera.
However
Linking Words
,they need always paying well-
salary
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jobs in order to gain
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
for human needs. In conclusion, I believe, a big
salary
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always
Add a missing verb
is always
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needed and important for
people
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.
Big
Correct article usage
A big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
is much more important than
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction.

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task achievement
Clarify your argumentation by providing more concrete examples and detailed explanations to support your points. This will enhance the completeness and depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should clearly support a distinct idea, and the connection between them should be more explicit.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to improve readability and make your essay more engaging. Simple sentences can be effective, but variety adds complexity and sophistication.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion throughout the essay, which is good for maintaining a consistent argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, even if they could be enhanced for greater impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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