You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentage of Australian men in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian males with a job in three different
age
Use synonyms
categories in 1984,2001 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the rate of working men from
35
Correct article usage
the 35
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-44
age
Use synonyms
groupe remaind
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group remained
steady and was the highest one among the others in all years. Another significant point is that In 1984, approximately 57
percent
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per cent
show examples
of the 15-19 years old men had a job
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
rate was around 90%
forthe
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for the
35-44
age
Use synonyms
groupe
Correct your spelling
group
then
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these rates
leved
Correct your spelling
lived
out until 2001. Though the percentage of the youngest
age
Use synonyms
category
droped
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dropped
to 50% in 2014, the latter had no specific change.
In
Change preposition
At
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the
beginnig
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beginning
the
Change preposition
of the
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period the 60-64
age
Use synonyms
groupe
Correct your spelling
group
had the smallest
propotion
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proportion
in comparison with others at about 34% and
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
off at the same rate in 2001
then
Linking Words
it reached a peak at 57% in 2014.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • age groups
  • significant changes
  • employment rates
  • economic shifts
  • technological advancements
  • societal changes
  • policy-making
  • workforce participation
  • labor market dynamics
  • demographic shifts
  • career longevity
  • early retirement
  • job market competitiveness
  • technological unemployment
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