Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In universities,
students
are allowed to take any courses according to
individual preferences. It is benefitial
for Correct your spelling
beneficial
one
to discover and pursue their interests. Yet some suggested that courses should be limited to science and technology related
subjects. I disagree with Add a hyphen
technology-related
this
suggestion, and my opinion will be analyzed by discussing both views and also
combined with my personal perspectives.
Firstly
, it is clear that
confining students
to a few subjects can have great
contribution to human Add an article
a great
accoomplishment
in the long term. Correct your spelling
accomplishment
accomplishments
However
, woning
only Verb problem
winning
one
profession in one
domain is not enough in the present world. To exceed competitors, it
often requires the ability to implement Correct pronoun usage
apply
one
concept from one
field to another. For exmple
, business Correct your spelling
example
analyst
, which Replace the word
analysis
is
Wrong verb form
has been
a
Change the article
an
arising
job recently, requires both Correct your spelling
rising
experiences
from the industry and excellent data analysis ability. Two abilities can only Fix the agreement mistake
experience
obtain
individually. Wrong verb form
be obtained
Thus
, allowing students
with bigger
flexibility in choosing what to study can help with Correct word choice
greater
the
general performance Change the word
their
in
Change preposition
apply
them
.
Studying in Correct pronoun usage
apply
higher
education system not only Correct article usage
a higher
aim
for human progress or academic achievements, but Correct subject-verb agreement
aims
also
soft skills
such
as observational skills
, Correct word choice
and desicion-making
desicion-making
Correct your spelling
decision-making
skills
. These are equaly
important as our degreeCorrect your spelling
equally
,
but are often overlooked. Remove the comma
apply
One
important prerequisites
of becoming Change to a singular noun
prerequisite
a
adult is to be able to think, act, and decide independently. Change the article
an
Through giving
Change preposition
Giving
students
more spaces
to choose and decide can Fix the agreement mistake
space
substaincially
help them form a mature and stable mentality. Correct your spelling
substantially
Also
, diversity creates inspirations
. Fix the agreement mistake
inspiration
For instance
, if students
are only permitted to study science and technology, there can be less progresses
since there Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
is
no differences between the logistics in their Change the verb form
are
mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Thus
, allowing student
to choose whatever they like can help with taking care of the invisible Fix the agreement mistake
students
skills
that we can easily forget.
To sum up
, students
should be granted
to study any subject they like. The world requires diversified Verb problem
allowed
expertises
in different Correct your spelling
expertise
field
that can use Fix the agreement mistake
fields
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
between
each Change preposition
in
areas
, and only science and technology Change to a singular noun
area
isn't
enough anymore. Correct subject-verb agreement
aren't
Also
, having the right to choose freely allows students
to develop in their own way, and differences are the main factors of creations, inspiraitons
, and individualities.Correct your spelling
inspirations
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Task Achievement
To improve task response, aim for more specific examples to underpin your arguments. While your essay discusses the topic broadly, grounding your points in concrete examples will strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider refining your paragraph transitions. Using varied transitional phrases can enhance the flow of your essay, making your points more connected and easier for the reader to follow.
Language
Be mindful of spelling and grammar accuracy. Minor errors can distract from the overall clarity of your argument. A thorough proofreading session can greatly enhance your essay's readability.
Structure
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay's argument.
Task Response
Your essay showcases a good understanding of the topic, demonstrating the ability to engage with complex ideas and present a considered opinion.
Language
The essay benefits from a diverse range of sentence structures, contributing to its readability and interest.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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