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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows in percentage terms the changing attern of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures, and make comparisons where relavant

the graph below shows in percentage terms the changing attern of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures, and make comparisons where relavant
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. The given line graph illustrates a variation in household access to four modern technologies in homes in the UK in percentage values between the
years
Use synonyms
 1996 to 2003 .
Overall
Linking Words
, the availability of
CD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 , mobile phones and home computers in the domestic environment had a steady rise during the whole period .
Although
Linking Words
,internet access appeared later it
also
Linking Words
 rose steadily.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
CD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 were recorded ,as the modern
device
Use synonyms
 with the highest home accessibility throughout the period. In detail,
CD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 were the highest popular modern
device
Use synonyms
 in the houses in the
years
Use synonyms
 1996/97 with 60 % in percentage
while
Linking Words
 that amount climbed up gradually to just over 80% in the
years
Use synonyms
 2002/2003. Home computers,
although
Linking Words
 ,recorded a near 30% in 1996/97
similarly
Linking Words
 followed the same gradual increase as
CD
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 throughout the period to reach just over 50% in the
years
Use synonyms
 2002/03.
Moreover
Linking Words
, mobile phones were the least available
device
Use synonyms
 in the domestic environment in 1996/97 with just below 20% of the household ,but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 became the second most popular
device
Use synonyms
 in 2002/03 with a value of around 70%.
However
Linking Words
 ,till 1998/1999 there was a gradual rise in the accessibility of it domestically to just below 30% and
then
Linking Words
 the level surged near to 45% within the next year and was followed by a slight increase in the level till 2000/2001. After that, it rose significantly during the first half of the next year , followed by a gradual growth to post approximately 70% availability in houses in the year 2002/2003.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, cd, players, device with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 4 times.
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