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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given Pictures depict the
overall
Linking Words
 distribution of
water
Use synonyms
 in terms of three different categories in six nations .
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be seen from the graphs
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
whice
Correct your spelling
which
 are not using
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 part of
water
Use synonyms
 in
agricuture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
agricultural
 use as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to Others. The most
eyecatching
Correct your spelling
eye-catching
show examples
 Point
that is
Linking Words
, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Africa are the nations which are using
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 Proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 by above 80% which are 81%, 88% and 84%.
However
Linking Words
, South
America
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 above 70% but less as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 three countries.
Whereas
Linking Words
 South
America
Use synonyms
 has the highest contribution of
water
Use synonyms
 in
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
show examples
 area followed by Europe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and North
America
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
,
highly
Correct article usage
a highly
show examples
noteable
Correct your spelling
notable
noticeable
 Point
that is
Linking Words
, Europe
as well as
Linking Words
 North
America
Use synonyms
 are spending around 50% of
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 industrial use among all the nations.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 ,and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 have less than 10% in terms of domestic use of
water
Use synonyms
 by 9%, 7%,
7
Correct word choice
and 7
show examples
%.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, that is".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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