IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are organizing a conference for your company. Write a letter to a colleague asking him/her to give a presentation during the conference. -Describe what this conference is about -Why you want him/her to give a presentation -Give details about the conference

#conference #company #colleague #presentation #-describe #-why #-give
Dear Mr. Anderson, I am writing
this
 letter to invite you to give a presentation which is going to be conducted
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the annual
conference
. First of all, let me apprise you with some details about what
this
 event is.
This
 is the
firest
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
 annual
conference
 which is being organised by our branch and our owner and all the
Borad
Correct your spelling
board
 of Directors are invited.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
conference
, not only will we submit
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
 performance of all the other branches, but we
also
 will present
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
 balance sheet.
Further
, I want to be the
incharge
Correct your spelling
charge
 of a presentation on the performance of all branches. As you are a good speaker and can elaborate the difficult
excel
Capitalize word
Excel
show examples
 pie charts and bar
grophs
Correct your spelling
graphs
 easily, we really want to use your prowess here. Apart from that, it would be a great help if you help us to sort out the data in a logical way.
Lastly
, the location of
this
conference
 will be at Starcast Hotel where a big screen, a good sound system and very comfortable chairs are available.
In addition
 to
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
, we have booked a hotel as you can reach on 13th of
this
 month, one day before the
conference
 to assist us. If you want any kind of equipment
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 anything, you can call on 924648132. I hope you will accept my request to give a presentation on
this
 big day
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our branch. Best regards, Jacob Brown.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed with sufficient detail. Expanding on the significance of the conference may enhance task completion.
Task Achievement
Review for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Attention to detail in these areas can improve clarity and professionalism.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the letter for better coherence. Consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread for typographical errors such as 'firest' should be 'first', and 'Borad' should be 'Board'. Correcting these will enhance the readability.
Task Achievement
Successfully described the purpose and content of the conference, engaging the recipient's expertise for the presentation.
Task Achievement
The personal touch by acknowledging the recipient's skills adds a persuasive element to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and closing convey respect and professionalism, effectively framing the request.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of paragraphs to separate different ideas, enhancing the letter's overall structure.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: