The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary world, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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a program of online coaching for students
from
Change preposition
for
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the
last
few years and the demand for
this
method of coaching services has increased dramatically. Some people
belief
Replace the word
believe
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that
this
is the best option for students than
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
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coaching. I disagree with
this
statement and in
this
essay, I will explain the justification to support my belief. The preponderant reason is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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remote coaching needs some equipment like laptops, Wi-Fi,
smartphones
Correct word choice
and smartphones
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to attend the classes and many families are not able to afford them.
For instance
, laptops and smartphones are very expensive as they are more than 500$ and poor families are not able to afford that cost as they are earning less than $60 dollars a day.
Hence
this
method of coaching class is for rich families' kids as their parents can handle the cost
whereas
the in-person classes are affordable for all people.
However
, in the method of remote
tutoring
Add a comma
tutoring,
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the children do not get
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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on one
Correct your spelling
one-on-one
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tutoring as there are many pupils on screen which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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it difficult for the tutor to give answers
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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some of the tutors do not have too much knowledge of the technology. In conclusion, virtual drilling is
good
Change the article
a good
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way of learning and teaching as people do not need to go somewhere but it is not a better option than
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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instructing because in
directly
Change the word
direct
show examples
coaching the student can get more attention from the educator.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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Balance & Argumentation
Refer directly to how online coaching might offer benefits as well as drawbacks to provide a more balanced argument, even if your position disagrees with it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within them for a smoother reading experience.
Language Use
For further improvement, diversify your sentence structure and vocabulary to enrich the quality of your expression.
Supporting Details
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments, particularly when discussing the limitations of online coaching.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Task Response
Your essay maintains a clear position throughout, adhering closely to the task requirements.
Argument Support
The main points are each supported by justification, enhancing the coherence of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual platforms
  • interactive sessions
  • personalized learning
  • multimedia resources
  • asynchronous communication
  • cost-efficient
  • impersonal
  • connectivity issues
  • hands-on experience
  • data protection
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