Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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Some people who

does

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their higher education prefer to study additional areas outside the targeted one,

while

others think that it is more crucial to focus and spend time on a qualified goal.

While

investing

all

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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to the

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

degree can ease the money-making process later on, I believe learning more about other topics is better because it makes us more developed individuals. On the one hand, some students give all their sources to earn the final name of their major because they want

Remove the article

apply

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insurance about their employment later on. In order to guarantee a future career that provides enough income, all the effort and

knowladge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

should be focused on their primary choice of study because if one is allowed to say all the details about a profession, they are the best in that area, they think. Being a manager with

high

Correct article usage

a high

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salary in large tech companies,

for example

, you should speak all the program languages and

able

Add a missing verb

be able

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to see any possible

compliations

Correct your spelling

complications

about them and if you did not take the relevant

cources

Correct your spelling

courses

sources

in university, it is unlikely that you

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

these requirements.

However

, I do not think

this

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right approach because knowing all the subbranches does not show someone is good at the main branch.

On the other hand

, learning more about different areas is beneficial and better because it allows us to become

fully-developed

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fully developed

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individuals. By taking classes

different

Change preposition

in different

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diciplines

Correct your spelling

disciplines

, we can both increase the

overall

level of information we have and widen it by adding different perspectives.

Thus

, we can avoid future complications

as a result

those new information

Change the determiner

that new information

show examples

because doing

this

not only makes us more aware of the program we mainly study but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

also

prevents us from making common mistakes. Every year, lots of computer science students sign up for Personal Data Protection classes to do

this

for instance

. For these reasons, I believe surrounding ourselves with different areas is highly beneficial for university students. In conclusion,

although

working only

for

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show examples

a main subject to be qualified can be beneficial for future incomes, I think in order to increase the

overall

level of information, taking various

cources

Correct your spelling

courses

sources

is the best.

Submitted by :DDDDD on Wed Apr 24 2024

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Language use and accuracy

Consider proofreading your essay for minor spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism. Examples: 'who does their higher education' should be 'who do their higher education', 'knowladge' should be 'knowledge', 'compliations' should be 'complications', and 'diciplines' should be 'disciplines'.

Coherence and cohesion

To further improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear linking phrases, creating a more seamless flow of ideas.

Grammar and complexity

Enhancing the variety of your sentence structures can add sophistication to your writing. While your essay demonstrates good control, more complex structures could provide a higher level of expressiveness.

Task response

In discussing both sides of the argument, make sure to evenly balance the content. Your personal opinion is clear, but for a higher score, provide a deeper exploration of contrasting viewpoints to showcase comprehensive consideration.

Task response

Your essay shows a good ability to discuss both sides of the argument and articulate a clear personal stance, which is commendable.

Supporting examples

The use of specific examples, such as the manager in tech companies and computer science students taking Personal Data Protection classes, effectively supports your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Men should go to work and women place is in the home. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?