Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.
it is argued that some people think it is better to make cigarettes
more
banned in nations because of their bad impact on Correct quantifier usage
apply
health
and Use synonyms
increasing
the number of smokers.Wrong verb form
increase
This
essay totally Linking Words
agree
with Change the verb form
agrees
this
point of view .
On Linking Words
one
hand,Correct article usage
the one
the
smoking Correct article usage
apply
shuld
be Correct your spelling
should
international
Change the word
internationally
unathorized
because Correct your spelling
unauthorized
of
it is Change preposition
apply
bad
effect on Add an article
a bad
health
.There is Use synonyms
significant
rise in Add an article
a significant
health
issues related to Use synonyms
cigarettes
addiction,despite,Change the noun form
cigarette
decreasing
in Replace the word
decrease
immunity
system the Correct article usage
the immunity
youngestrs
and Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngest
adult
who are attracted to smoking are Fix the agreement mistake
adults
mre
likely to have lung cancer.Correct your spelling
more
Moreover
,any disease Linking Words
could
affect the Correct pronoun usage
that could
respairetory
system can destroy their Correct your spelling
respiratory
health
and kill them .Use synonyms
For instance
,increase Linking Words
the
number of Change preposition
in the
dies
in Sudan in 2020 in Replace the word
deaths
Covid19
period Correct your spelling
Covid-19
as a result
of addiction to Linking Words
smoke
.
Wrong verb form
smoking
On the other hand
, there will be Linking Words
negative
impact on people around smokers ,Add an article
a negative
hence
the amount of them and increase the Linking Words
health
problems. smoking girls and boys will Use synonyms
effect
badly on their Correct your spelling
affect
famillies
,Correct your spelling
families
relatieves
and Correct your spelling
relatives
also
their friends,Linking Words
neitheir
by Correct your spelling
neither
either
influnce
them to smoke nor Correct your spelling
influence
inheal
the smoking which will affect their Correct your spelling
heal
in heal
health
.Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
many teenagers and adults choose to smoke because one of their parents is Add a comma
example,
smoker
or friends
Correct article usage
a smoker
To conclude
the buying of cigarettes should be unlicensed Linking Words
globly
,because Correct your spelling
globally
the
obvious rise in lung cancer Change preposition
of the
Correct your spelling
patients
patents
Correct your spelling
patients
Further
, the negative Linking Words
Correct your spelling
impact
impaact
on their Correct your spelling
impact
colleges
and relativesReplace the word
colleagues
Submitted by moonymum0011 on
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specific examples
To strengthen your essay, work on providing more detailed examples. For instance, rather than briefly mentioning the situation in Sudan, delve deeper into how exactly cigarette addiction impacted Covid-19 mortality rates there.
language accuracy
Be mindful of spelling and grammar errors, as they can hinder the clarity of your arguments. Consider using spell check tools or proofreading your essay carefully before submission.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced for clarity and impact. Introduce the topic more engagingly and end with a stronger, more memorable statement.
task response
You have effectively addressed the topic by agreeing with the notion that cigarettes should be banned worldwide, and you've provided rationale for this viewpoint.
logical structure
Your essay structures an argument with a clear stance, which is good for coherence and cohesion. Each paragraph focuses on a different aspect or argument relating to the central topic, helping to maintain a logical structure.
use of examples
You've included relevant examples, like the increase in deaths in Sudan, to support your arguments. While more detail could be added, this approach helps illustrate your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?