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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that it is best to save money for example in a bank or savings schemes. other people feel that money shouls be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate

#people #money #bank #savings #schemes #shouls #debate
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Today, some people believe that saving
money
 in a bank or in a savings scheme is crucial,
while
 some people think it should be spent whenever it is available. Saving
money
 is vital in some way. at the same time, it is important to spend
money
 on your needs.
Overall
, saving earned
money
 is extremely important,
while
 spending it wisely. On the one hand, saving hard-earned
money
 will never be wasted and that will perform the role of a guardian angel if we have to battle through any hardships in future. I recall a bad memory of one of my neighbours who was having a huge financial issue in his business
due to
 COVID-19. Ultimately, the bank savings he used to save for years were the biggest support to his family throughout the economic crisis they faced.
On the other hand
, spending
money
 on our wants and needs would play a key role in self-satisfaction and good mental health. To be more precise, that depends on each individual's perception of what they want to do with their
money
.
For example
, my school principal wore the same shirt to school for most of the school days. As it seemed, he did not really spend a lot on clothing and chased brands. But, he himself stated that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 he would spend almost all his earnings on buying new lands and real estate which he considered as an investment. At the same time, he advised all of us,
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not to spend all we've got on anything unless it is an investment for our future because investing will never go out of the trend. in conclusion, people's desires to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their own
money
 will vary from one to another. In my opinion, saving
money
 in banks or another
alternate
Replace the word
alternative
show examples
 saving scheme will be more beneficial in many ways,
while
 spending wisely on our personal desires to satisfy our inner soul.
Submitted by amadisilva2 on

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structure
Make sure to clearly present your opinion early in the essay to guide the reader.
coherence
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
language use
Consider varying sentence structures to add interest and complexity to your writing.
content
Effective use of personal anecdotes to support points.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion that bookend the essay effectively.
task response
Your essay stays on topic and addresses all parts of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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