Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?
A vast majority of cities are
constucting residental
zones by constructing high-rise buildings, Correct your spelling
constructing residential
while
others creating
housing by Wrong verb form
create
houses
which is
located on a wider area of land. Skyscrapers Correct subject-verb agreement
are
better
, as they Add a missing verb
are better
provided
services which can help individuals to save their Wrong verb form
provide
time
and money, while
individual place of residence requires a good amount of attention.
Tall apartments are the best solution,
because they have their own Remove the comma
apply
priileges
Correct your spelling
privileges
such
as security, cleaning of entrance and playground for kids, which are money-saving and laboursaving. As, by dividing a certain price among all people who live at
that particular place , they can pay less. Change preposition
in
For example
, in the city called Shymkent , 55 per cent of population
Add an article
the population
are
moving to flats Correct subject-verb agreement
is
especially
to the property of a builder named Bi Group. For Add the comma(s)
, especially
the
reasonCorrect your spelling
this
that
Correct word choice
apply
,
they are offering Remove the comma
apply
convinient facilitieties
Correct your spelling
convenient facilities
such
as closed yard
with security, so parents will not be worried about their kids. Detached Fix the agreement mistake
yards
houses
are not the profitable variant, as individual
Correct article usage
an individual
shoud
take Correct your spelling
should
of
his property by highlighting a special Replace the word
off
time
and. Due to
the fact,that it is a big land. For instance
, a good number of crowd
are wanting to change their place of living, as they do not have Add an article
the crowd
a
Change the article
apply
time
to take care oh
their Correct your spelling
of
houses
and they can not pay for security and cleaning. In conclusion, tall buildings are better, as they have a comfortable services
for people, meantime individual Correct the article-noun agreement
a comfortable service
comfortable services
houses
require a lot of time
. It is predicted that, after 20 or 30 years everyone will change their houses
.Submitted by aizered097 on
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Introduction clarity
Ensure you directly address the question prompt in your introduction to clearly state your position.
Sentence structure and transitions
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow and connectivity between ideas for better coherence.
Conclusion impact
In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your arguments in relation to the essay question to reinforce your viewpoint.
Supporting detail diversity
Incorporate a variety of examples and details to support your main points more effectively.
Task response
You provided a clear preference which aligns with the task requirement.
Example usage in argument
Your use of examples, such as the situation in Shymkent, helps support your argument.
Introduction and conclusion presence
Introduction and conclusion are both present and serve their purpose.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite