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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Charts indicate the influence of average temperatures on the swimming suit purchase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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New York
city
Capitalize word
City
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 per month. The data are presented in between 6
month
Change to a plural noun
months
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 starting from January 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the temperature does not impact the purchasing power.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
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 chart presents the significant
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 of interest in bathing products that in April reached almost $300 hundred thousand.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
event
Add a comma
event,
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 the
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 decreased rapidly. In just two months the revenue was more than $250 hundred thousand less
compairing
Correct your spelling
comparing
 June to April.
However
Linking Words
, the line chart shows that after
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 downturn from January until February, the average temperature was constantly increasing. It was growing from 5 to 10 degrees every month. It clearly illustrates that temperature and bath goods demand were not linked in the first 6 months of the year 2012.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
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