IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show unit of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000

The pie charts below show unit of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000
#show #unit #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts illustrate the variation in the volume of
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 by utilizing various fuel sources in two particular countries Australia and France in 1980 and in 2000.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the latter pie charts depict the same in France in a simi time period. In 1980, the total
production
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 by leveraging various fuel sources in Australia
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 100
units
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000 it showed a dramatic rise by generating 170
units
Use synonyms
. Two decades earlier from the year 2000, coal was the main source of
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 and half of the
electricity
Use synonyms
 was fabricated from coal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the contribution of coal dramatically increased to 130
units
Use synonyms
 after two decades. In 1980, the fuel source, natural gas and hydropower took their place in
production
Use synonyms
 with similar inputs which is 20
units
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the influence of hydropower in the year 2000 is spectacularly raised to 36
units
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the input of natural gas
is fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuates
has fluctuated
show examples
 to 2
units
Use synonyms
. Nuclear power was not employed in Australia as a source for producing
electricity
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in France, The use of nuclear power significantly increased to 126
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, before 20 years it generated just 15
units
Use synonyms
 in a particular area. Both natural gas and coal together produced half of the
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 1980.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: