Sports have always been the point of interest for people for ages.Olympics games are historical events which happen every four years.

#sports #point #interest #people #ages #olympics #games #events #four #years

Sports have always been the point of interest for

people

for ages.

Correct article usage

The Olympics

show examples

Olympics

Correct your spelling

Olympic

show examples

games

are historical events which happen every four years. Nowadays,it is claimed that

people

do not accept it as vital. I completely disagree

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

statement.

Firstly

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

Olympics

Correct your spelling

Olympic

show examples

games

are

traditional

Correct article usage

a traditional

show examples

occasion,

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

allocate talented players from all over the world.Sportsmen prepare and try to win every race.They compete

other

Change preposition

with other

show examples

nations and endeavor to

take

Verb problem

win

show examples

a lot of

medal

Change to a plural noun

medals

show examples

This

is the most interesting part of

Correct article usage

the competion

show examples

competion

Correct your spelling

competition

. I think,

people

are opposing the

Olympics

Correct your spelling

Olympic

show examples

games

may

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the effects of

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

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and so on. But technological development never

replace

Change the verb form

replaces

show examples

customs.

Thirdly

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

games

, help to

enchance

Correct your spelling

enhance

the economy of

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

. It develops

Correct article usage

the financal

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financal

Correct your spelling

financial

status of nations and

olimpians

Correct your spelling

Olympians

Thought

Correct your spelling

Though

show examples

it is

Replace the word

the 21st

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century,the improvement of

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

the crucial

show examples

aspect. In conclusion,

although

,there is

strict

Add an article

a strict

the strict

show examples

opinion about

Olympics

events, which some

people

find

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

unsual

Correct your spelling

unusual

.But

still

Add a comma

still,

show examples

it has great

oppotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

for

sportmen

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

and countries.

Submitted by englishgate995 on Fri Apr 26 2024

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coherence and cohesion

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task achievement

You have a clear position throughout the essay, which meets the task requirement.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is a positive aspect of coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

149 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Sports have always been the point of interest for people for ages.Olympics games are historical events which happen every four years.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Students should pay for their study in university as it benefits individual not whole society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

17 Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and obtain the news. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages? (MEDIA)

People from many countries are marrying later and having fewer children. Give reasons why this is happening. Are there any positive or negative developments regarding this?