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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make omparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make omparisons where relevant.
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summarise #information #features #omparisons
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The bar graph outlines
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 and
consumption
Use synonyms
 of electricity
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
top
Correct article usage
the top
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ten
Correct your spelling
10
 countries around the world in
year
Change the article
the year
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 2014. From the general trend it can be seen that all 9 countries are producing more electric
power
Use synonyms
 and their
consumption
Use synonyms
 is less but in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
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 their
power
Use synonyms
 utilization is more than
power
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
. In 2014 China was the biggest producer with 5,398 billion
KWh
Fix capitalization
kWh
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 and next to
this
Linking Words
 United
states
Capitalize word
States
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 stood second with 4,009 billion
KWh
Fix capitalization
kWh
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 per annum. Russia and Japan are almost generating
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 electricity per year. France, Brazil and Germany are
also
Linking Words
 producing
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
power
Use synonyms
 supply
such
Linking Words
 as 561.2, 530 and 526.6.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 in relation to
consummption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 patterns the biggest consumers are China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
ststes
Correct your spelling
states
. Russia is consuming
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount as producing. India and Canada are the only countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are generating more
power
Use synonyms
 and consuming less.
Consumption
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Germany is more and production is less. In conclusion, China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
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 are
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 producers and consumers and Korea is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 10th number with
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 production.
Submitted by sananayyab91 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • leading country
  • ranking differences
  • significant gaps
  • regional trends
  • sustainability
  • energy efficiency
  • renewable energy sources
  • top ten countries
  • implications
  • dominate
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