The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
The bar charts illustrate the number of graduates and postgraduates who attend part-time jobs, voluntary careers,
further
studies and unemployment after finishing college in the United Kingdom in 2008.
Overall
,
it is clear that
both graduate and postgraduate students decide to
further
their studies.
However
, they are not interested in being a volunteer. On the one hand, in the year 2008, there were 29665 graduates in Great Britain who went to
further
study. The number of learners doing part-time and unemployment registered 17735 and 16235 respectively,
besides
it was more than students who worked as a volunteer nearly five times which was at 3500.
On the other hand
,
further
study of the UK postgraduates in 2008 remained in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first place with 2725, followed by
non
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
full-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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which the gap between the first place and second place was about 200.
Additionally
, unemployment and voluntary work of postgraduates were ten times less than graduates.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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