IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
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The bar chart below displays the average
hours
Use synonyms
 of free job
for
Change preposition
per
show examples
 week done by citizens in different categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, X
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
category
Add an article
a category
the category
show examples
 of
men
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 and
women
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: without
children
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, with 1-2
children
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, and with 3+
children
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 in the family and Y represents the number of
hours
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 these females and males do for free in
this
Linking Words
 bar chart. There are two lines that show married
women
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 with a blue
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 and married
men
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 with a red
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
. There are 30
hours
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 that married
women
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 do and nearly 20
hours
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 married
men
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 do in
category
Add an article
the category
show examples
 of married
men
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 and married
women
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 without
children
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. Meanwhile, there are almost 50
hours
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 of nonpaid work that
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
women
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 do, which is more than in
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 section in
"with
Correct article usage
the "with
show examples
 1-2
children
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" part. But
Use synonyms
hours
Correct article usage
the hours
show examples
 of
men
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do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in
this
Linking Words
 part did not change at all. There are 60
hours
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 of unpaid work including childcare in the home, housework and gardening that married
women
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 do in
"with
Correct article usage
the "with
show examples
 3+
children
Use synonyms
" section. Meanwhile, in
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 with 3+
children
Use synonyms
men
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 of the family do only 17
hours
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 of housework.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, men, women, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • demographics
  • household responsibilities
  • societal expectations
  • norms
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • contributions
  • family structure
  • cultural implications
  • social implications
  • work-life balance
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