Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years,
students
especially in
university
can
study
anything they want, so they have opportunities to learn other subjects
besides
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their majors. Some say that they should focus on their studies and not spend their time
to
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
study
others,
while
other people disagree with it. In my opinion,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
would be better to learn
numeorus
Correct your spelling
numerous
subjects as much as they can.
Firstly
, learning broad
things
in
academic
Add an article
the academic
an academic
show examples
year has profits for
students
, including giving them new perspectives.
For example
, mathematics is a scientific subject and its value has become higher and higher in the
last
ten years with
developing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
technology.
However
, people who major in
this
study
are typically systematic and hardly create a
revolutional
Correct your spelling
revolutionary
idea in their occupations. So, if they
study
other
things
such
as business, they potentially make a creative idea
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
In contrast
, individuals in
university
need to spend their whole time
to
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
study
their majors since it is quite complicated and requires numerous resources.
For instance
,
students
whose subject is medical science are in
university
for six years to complete their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
and they frequently have no time to learn other
things
. If they try to
study
new
things
while
they
study
the main one, they possibly fall it down.
However
, I personally argue that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
of learning numerous subjects in
university
outweigh the cons because they obtain various types of knowledge which is needed in business. Success in business cannot be
archieved
Correct your spelling
achieved
archived
by an aspect, so wide viewpoints lead them to
accumplish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
massive
things
. In conclusion,
while
focusing on one subject and learning wide studies in
university
have profits respectively, the pros of the former are more huge than that of the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
.
Therefore
, I believe that
students
should learn numerous
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
in their academic ages.
Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy to further improve the quality of your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly answer the question in the introduction and reiterate your stance in the conclusion for a stronger argument.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear stance and developed your arguments effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: