Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years,
students
especially in
university
can
study
anything they want, so they have opportunities to learn other subjects
besides
on
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apply
show examples
their majors. Some say that they should focus on their studies and not spend their time
to
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studying
show examples
study
others,
while
other people disagree with it. In my opinion,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
would be better to learn
numeorus
Correct your spelling
numerous
subjects as much as they can.
Firstly
, learning broad
things
in
academic
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the academic
an academic
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year has profits for
students
, including giving them new perspectives.
For example
, mathematics is a scientific subject and its value has become higher and higher in the
last
ten years with
developing
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apply
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the
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Internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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technology.
However
, people who major in
this
study
are typically systematic and hardly create a
revolutional
Correct your spelling
revolutionary
idea in their occupations. So, if they
study
other
things
such
as business, they potentially make a creative idea
up
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apply
show examples
.
In contrast
, individuals in
university
need to spend their whole time
to
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
study
their majors since it is quite complicated and requires numerous resources.
For instance
,
students
whose subject is medical science are in
university
for six years to complete their
study
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studies
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and they frequently have no time to learn other
things
. If they try to
study
new
things
while
they
study
the main one, they possibly fall it down.
However
, I personally argue that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
of learning numerous subjects in
university
outweigh the cons because they obtain various types of knowledge which is needed in business. Success in business cannot be
archieved
Correct your spelling
achieved
archived
by an aspect, so wide viewpoints lead them to
accumplish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
massive
things
. In conclusion,
while
focusing on one subject and learning wide studies in
university
have profits respectively, the pros of the former are more huge than that of the
later
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latter
show examples
.
Therefore
, I believe that
students
should learn numerous
thing
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things
show examples
in their academic ages.
Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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