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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#town #canterbury #school #area #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The map illustrates the
town
 of Canterbury. The sites s1 and s2
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the two possible sites for a new school to forge. Canterbury is a small city with almost
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
9500 population. On the north side of the map depicts the University. Towards the
centre
 of the
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 we can see a
Town
centre
, with a no traffic zone. S1 is located in the northeast
region
, where a main road extends from one end of the
town
centre
.
On the other hand
, s2 is located in the
town
centre
 which is marked as
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 traffic
region
. Next to that extends
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 road to Chartham
town
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 is 7
kms
Correct your spelling
km
 away.
According to
 the data, s2 looks ideal for the construction of the school.
However
,
this
region
 is far away for people who are located in
Sturry
Correct article usage
the Sturry
show examples
region
as well as
 those who are in Chartham. The main advantage
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
site
 is that, it is free of traffic. So that children will be
out
Change preposition
at
show examples
 of risk
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accidents. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 it is
bit
Correct article usage
a bit
show examples
 away from the University in comparison with
site
 s1. The s1
site
 is more
closure
Replace the word
close
show examples
 to
Add an article
the country
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 which makes the people from Chartham
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
travel long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 a major drawback of
this
site
.
To conclude
 s2 looks more ideal than s1 by considering the safety and
accessiility
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 of people.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words town, centre, region, site with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • residential
  • accessibility
  • proximity
  • town centre
  • site
  • amenities
  • proposed development
  • population distribution
  • environmental impact
  • traffic congestion
  • community needs
  • educational facilities
  • public transport
  • recreational areas
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