Write about the following topic: There is a debate among many individuals that museums and art galleries should present the nation’s art, as opposed to artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The debate whether a country should treat foreign
arts
as its own has been a contentious argument. Proponents of foreign
arts
believe that there are no boundaries in
art
and every
art
museum should present both foreign
as well as
local
arts
equally.
However
, I strongly disagree with that notion
,
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apply
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and maintain that a museum and
art
gallery should give priority to showcase
artworks
from artists within the country. In
this
essay,
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the rational
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rational
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rationale
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on
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for
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this
belief is delineated.
First,
the proportion of local
arts
presented in an
art
institution is
propotionate
Correct your spelling
proportionate
proportional
to the financial gain and reputation gain of the
artist
.
This
is especially true for
institution
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institutions
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that
is
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are
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well-known and well-connected. It is well established that a new
artist
usually
suffer
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suffers
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from poor working
condition
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conditions
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that is
non-conductive for creative activities
due to
low
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the low
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financial status of being a fresh-graduate
artist
. Without support and promotion from
museum
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museums
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and galleries, there is a high chance that young
artist
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artists
show examples
need to switch to a different career path, causing a
gradually
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gradual
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but
surely
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sure
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drop in both
quality
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the quality
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and quantity of local
artworks
.
This
led to another consequence, which affected not only individuals but
also
a
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the
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nation. Nowadays, local
arts
are usually advertised as one of the reasons for tourists to come to a city. The deterioration of local
artworks
due to
the negligence of
art
institution
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institutions
show examples
can cause a large drop in
amount
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the amount
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of tourism, a consequence of which is a loss in the city budget.
Lastly
, the
over promotion
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over-promotion
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for foreign
artworks
can be a
double-edge
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double-edged
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sword. On one hand, it can promote
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the culture
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culture
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cultural
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understanding of
citizen
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citizens
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. On the
others
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other
show examples
, it leads to the eradication of native cultures, especially the ones that are not heavily in trend or promoted. In Vietnam, many
tradtional
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traditional
dances and
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
are gradually disappearing, as the youth is more
focus
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focused
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on outside culture. These priceless cultures are being replaced by foreign, popular
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music
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,
such
as Korean music from the trendy group Blank Pink. In conclusion,
although
every
arts
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piece of art
show examples
need
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needs
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to be treated with love and care, I still believe that
government
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the government
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, especially museums and galleries, should subsidize and promote our local artists more.
This
will bring benefits not only to the
artist
,
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apply
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but
also
to a nation's cultural landscape and budget.
Submitted by hoagloc on

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Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'propotionate' instead of 'proportionate', 'tradtional' instead of 'traditional', 'Blank Pink' instead of 'BLACKPINK'). Even small inaccuracies can distract from the strength of your arguments.
Argument Balance
To enhance your essay, ensure a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument, even if your position leans significantly towards one. This approach shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Cohesion
Consider using transition phrases more effectively to improve the flow between paragraphs and within them. This will strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
Position Clarity
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, which is consistent throughout the piece.
Use of Examples
The examples you use are strong and relevant, successfully illustrating your points.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the arguments made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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