Write about the following topic: There is a debate among many individuals that museums and art galleries should present the nation’s art, as opposed to artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The debate whether a country should treat foreign
arts
as its own has been a contentious argument. Proponents of foreign arts
believe that there are no boundaries in art
and every art
museum should present both foreign as well as
local arts
equally. However
, I strongly disagree with that notion,
and maintain that a museum and Remove the comma
apply
art
gallery should give priority to showcase artworks
from artists within the country. In this
essay, Correct article usage
the rational
rational
Correct your spelling
rationale
on
Change preposition
for
this
belief is delineated.
First,
the proportion of local arts
presented in an art
institution is propotionate
to the financial gain and reputation gain of the Correct your spelling
proportionate
proportional
artist
. This
is especially true for institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
that
is
well-known and well-connected. It is well established that a new Correct subject-verb agreement
are
artist
usually suffer
from poor working Change the verb form
suffers
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
that is
non-conductive for creative activities due to
low
financial status of being a fresh-graduate Correct article usage
the low
artist
. Without support and promotion from museum
and galleries, there is a high chance that young Fix the agreement mistake
museums
artist
need to switch to a different career path, causing a Fix the agreement mistake
artists
gradually
but Change the word
gradual
surely
drop in both Change the word
sure
quality
and quantity of local Correct article usage
the quality
artworks
.
This
led to another consequence, which affected not only individuals but also
a
nation. Nowadays, local Correct article usage
the
arts
are usually advertised as one of the reasons for tourists to come to a city. The deterioration of local artworks
due to
the negligence of art
institution
can cause a large drop in Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
amount
of tourism, a consequence of which is a loss in the city budget.
Add an article
the amount
Lastly
, the over promotion
for foreign Add a hyphen
over-promotion
artworks
can be a double-edge
sword. On one hand, it can promote Correct your spelling
double-edged
Correct article usage
the culture
culture
understanding of Replace the word
cultural
citizen
. On the Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
others
, it leads to the eradication of native cultures, especially the ones that are not heavily in trend or promoted. In Vietnam, many Correct quantifier usage
other
tradtional
dances and Correct your spelling
traditional
musics
are gradually disappearing, as the youth is more Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
focus
on outside culture. These priceless cultures are being replaced by foreign, popular Replace the word
focused
musics
, Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
such
as Korean music from the trendy group Blank Pink.
In conclusion, although
every arts
Fix the agreement mistake
piece of art
need
to be treated with love and care, I still believe that Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
government
, especially museums and galleries, should subsidize and promote our local artists more. Correct article usage
the government
This
will bring benefits not only to the artist
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to a nation's cultural landscape and budget.Submitted by hoagloc on
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Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'propotionate' instead of 'proportionate', 'tradtional' instead of 'traditional', 'Blank Pink' instead of 'BLACKPINK'). Even small inaccuracies can distract from the strength of your arguments.
Argument Balance
To enhance your essay, ensure a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument, even if your position leans significantly towards one. This approach shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Cohesion
Consider using transition phrases more effectively to improve the flow between paragraphs and within them. This will strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
Position Clarity
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, which is consistent throughout the piece.
Use of Examples
The examples you use are strong and relevant, successfully illustrating your points.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the arguments made in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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