Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?
having international
sport
tournaments is considered to be beneficial for the country, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
while
others believe it’s rather
negative occasion. in Change the article
rather a
a rather
this
essay, i
will provide Change the capitalization
I
pros
and cons of the phenomenon Correct article usage
the pros
as well as
state personal opinion
on the topic.
from my point of view, hosting various international events Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
insider
Replace the word
inside
home
country is always a good choice and brings plenty of benefits. First of all, more and more local dwellers become familiar with foreign nations, Correct pronoun usage
my home
get
to know their language and culture, which, eventually, results in broadening the horizons of a regular person, Correct word choice
and get
Moreover
, it boosts the economy of the particular city and government in general due to
the huge touristic traffic. For instance
, there was an article, which deeply analized
how Taylor Correct your spelling
analysed
Swift
concert Change noun form
Swift's
increases
the economic situation in the city and Wrong verb form
increased
brings
double Wrong verb form
brought
profit
in comparison to the annual budget of the town. Followingly, Correct article usage
the profit
according to
a recent Harvard student research, it is more likely to enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
to
one of the Ivy League universities, rather than buy a ticket to a Taylor Swift concert. Taking into account these 2 papers I believe that Change preposition
on
sport
events are not less interesting for a mass viewer and Change the noun form
sports
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
affects
the country Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
similarly
.
On the other hand
, I understand why other people might complain about the shortcoming of the event. If a person is not interested into
sports and so many visitors come at once, the locals will be irritated by the noise and Change preposition
in
crowdness
in the town. Another reason should have been prevented from happening, but the vast majority of viewers usually consume food and drink take-outs, which in the end results in a lot of trash on the streets. If I Correct your spelling
crowdedness
crowds
was
a local resident, I would be upset too.
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
To sum up
, there are plenty of pluses and minuses such
as international communication and economic rise going along with
polluted surroundings and loud music. Personally, I would prefer to arrange multinational events in spite of all the drawbacks.Submitted by dulskywork on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, aim to clearly link your ideas and examples. Ensure each paragraph follows logically from the one before, using cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by ensuring your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Maintain a clear position throughout and support it with well-developed examples.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view with clear pros and cons, adding depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, contributing to a clearer overall structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.