IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Test 1: The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Test 1: The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#test #change #prices #three #metals #information #features #comparisons
This
 diagram shows monthly
changing
Wrong verb form
changes
show examples
 in prices of three metals including copper,nickel and zinc during 2014.
Firstly
,
copper
Add an article
the copper
show examples
 price started at 2% after that it
was decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 gradually from
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 of the
year
 until June it fell to 0%
then
 it
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up to 1%
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
July and remained steady for three months , in October and November it
at0.5
Add a missing verb
was at0.5
show examples
% and reached near to 2%
at the end
 of the
year
. Nickel started the
year
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 6 %
then
 gradually trough
to-3
Correct your spelling
at
% in June. In July it was gradually raised
to-1
Correct your spelling
to 1
%
then
ramined
Correct your spelling
remained
 at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
level
 until September
then
 it fell
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
again in October. The was
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 and nickel price at 1%
level
.
Lastly
, zinc price started
at1
Correct your spelling
at 1
%
then
 it raised to 3%
level
 in the second month.
Then
 it's being to drop until -1%
level
 in June.
It's rasied
Wrong verb form
It rose
show examples
 slightly in July and remained steady for three months until October and
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 back to
-1
Correct article usage
the -1
show examples
%
level
 again.
Finally
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
was end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
a noticeably
show examples
noticeably
Change the adverb
noticeable
show examples
 change at the
level
 of 2%.
Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, level with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: