IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of passengers between 2000 and 2009. Meanwhile, the second
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 depicts the proportion of trains running
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared with
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 target.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of train passengers and the proportion of
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 running to the target
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gradually increased.
According to
Linking Words
 the first
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of train passengers started from a bit of 35 and ended up in about 42.
However
Linking Words
, there was a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 from about 40 to 35 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2002 to 2003. After that, a major increase
was happened
Change to the active voice
happened
show examples
 between 2023 and 2005 which came from 35 to more than 45.
According to
Linking Words
 the second
line
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
, the proportion of trains running on time to the target started from 92
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and ended up
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 97
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. There was a rebound where the
number
Use synonyms
 of trains running on time fell to 92
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the year 2006.
However
Linking Words
, it had increased significantly from 92 to 97 between 2006 and 2008

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, however".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, graph, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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