IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that any cities in the world are now "one big traffic" How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars.

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #measures #government #people #cars
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It is true and seen that in the 21st
century
Add a comma
century,
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 the tendency
of using
Change preposition
to use
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 cars has increased throughout the world.
People
Use synonyms
 should
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
 topic as it makes
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to ignore it. It is not just traffic problems but
also
Linking Words
 many other issues which damage our environment. We live in a modern society now. Our cities and
neigbourhoods
Correct your spelling
neighbourhoods
 are steadily increasing, places for entertainment and
people
Use synonyms
's pleasure are becoming popular and it seems there is no way to neglect it. If folks
had
Verb problem
paid
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 more
attenton
Correct your spelling
attention
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
to
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 particular topics which take into account our surroundings,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would not face consequences in
such
Linking Words
 amount. You will reap what you sow is a proverb that shows us all
our
Change the pronoun
the
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action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 we have done will be questioned and answered by our generations. Our biggest threat is human beings and their unconscious actions which spread all around the world. There are billions of
people
Use synonyms
 who throw rubbish everywhere, do not worry about car problems and factory emissions, planes and other types of transport that make our planet worse over time. To deal with the problem first all
people
Use synonyms
 have to comprehend that we are damaging our society. The government, scientists and big
people
Use synonyms
 who have
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 should beat an alarm to awaken
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of mankind. If we work together as a team, it will be easier to stop our harmful way of living.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 it should be taught
for
Change preposition
to
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 children at school and
made
Wrong verb form
make
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 plans for
near
Correct article usage
the near
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 future. The next generations need our perseverance in finding solutions and
implementaions
Correct your spelling
implementations
implementation
. I believe that
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 step starts
from
Change preposition
with
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 each person's interest and every human has to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about the place and surroundings of their own lives.
Submitted by kooper507 on

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structure
Consider using a clearer structure in your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to enhance clarity.
examples
Introduce specific examples to support your arguments. This could include statistics, studies, or real-world examples of traffic issues and environmental impacts.
introduction/conclusion
Work on developing a more precise introduction and conclusion. Clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points of your essay in the conclusion.
transitions
Ensure a better link between ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions and improved flow.
task response
Your essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, showcasing an understanding of the task.
content depth
You've successfully emphasized the importance of collective responsibility in addressing car usage and environmental issues.
moral argument
Your essay includes a strong moral argument, encouraging a sense of responsibility towards future generations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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