IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#two #show #world #energy #consumption #electricity #generation #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two pie charts illustrate the percentages of
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 and electricity generation in the
last
Linking Words
 year. On the whole, coal and gas accounted for high rates in both charts. Speaking of total world
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
, oil was the most popular than any other way
last
Linking Words
 year. Looking more closely, oil was at 34.3% and it was over 15 times more than hydro which is the lowest in all
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 except other. Following that, coal was at 25.1%, gas was at 20.9%, and nuclear was at 6.5%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, oil was not popular and it was the second lowest in all electricity generation way.
In contrast
Linking Words
, coal and gas were higher than any others and it was at 39.8% and 19.6% respectively. Interestingly, hydro and nuclear have the high and same proportion , despite they both accounted for
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 rate in the
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 chart. Specifically, they were at around 16% in
this
Linking Words
 chart.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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