Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. What metal and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games? How could these problems be reduced?
Nowadays, a number of doctors and specialists claim that
use
of Correct article usage
the use
computer
games
is on the raise
in Correct your spelling
rise
this
era, leading to many mental and physical problems
. this
is noticeable
concern for new generations. Add an article
a noticeable
This
essay will examine the problems
which may arise using computer
games
and some possible solutions.
To begin
with, youngster
tend to spend too many hours sitting in front of Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
computers
screens, and Change the noun form
computer
this
sedentary life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
result
in many worrying health drawbacks in Fix the agreement mistake
results
children
, with obesity being one of the significant problems
stemming from this
inadequate life style
. Visual impairment is Correct your spelling
lifestyle
other
problem that arises from playing Change the wording
another
computer
games
a lot. These mentioned problems
are just physical drawbacks due to
using digital gaming. There are also
many mental difficulties that arise in children
from the utilization of computers. for instance
, loss of social contact, Correct word choice
and using
using
Replace the word
use
Change preposition
of computer
computer
lead to Fix the agreement mistake
computers
children
becoming isolated and they do not want
participate in Add the particle
want to
family
Add an article
a family
the family
gathering
.
One of the effective ways to resolve Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
this
difficulty set up strict regulations for children
for
regarding Change preposition
apply
use
of Correct article usage
the use
computer
games
. If companies establish time limits for game
usage, the problem could be resolved. For example
, if children
exceed a specific time limit set by company
, they cannot continue playing the Add an article
the company
game
. These laws would reduce the time spent playing game
.
In conclusion, extensive playing of Fix the agreement mistake
games
computer
games
can cause many physical and mental problems
in children
. However
, plying
Correct your spelling
playing
game
under strict laws determined by gaming companies can prevent many drawbacks.Fix the agreement mistake
games
Submitted by zahranajafi107 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Ensure to proofread your essay to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors such as 'raise' instead of 'rise' and 'plying' instead of 'playing'.
Vocabulary
Try to diversify your sentence structures and vocabulary to add depth to your essay and make it more engaging.
Content
Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Real-world examples or studies can significantly strengthen your position.
Argument Structure
Remember to discuss both sides of the argument or add a comparative analysis when addressing solutions to offer a more balanced view.
Structure
You've done well in structuring your essay with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
Task Response
You effectively addressed the task by identifying both problems and solutions related to the excessive use of computer games.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.