IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and - ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. - --- Ask what the prices are and - how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because I need some electrical equipment from your store. These goods are very important to me and wish to get them quickly. Let me inform you that I have been a regular customer of your shop for a long time. please let me confirm whether the
items
Use synonyms
 are
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
 or not. If it is not possible at the moment to arrange
such
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 things it is more convenient for me to order those. So that I can wait for the required
items
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 but be informed how much time you could hold the
items
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 because I am out of the town during current week and will take some days to return to my place.
In addition
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, I would like to ask about the price of the
items
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 , so that I
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 pay the amount via
Internet
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the Internet
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. I hope you never let me down. I shall be
gratreful
Correct your spelling
grateful
 for your kindness. Yours Faithfully, Kunwar

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are directly addressed and clearly answered. Include a specific list of the electrical goods you're interested in, and explicitly ask for the prices and holding period.
coherence cohesion
For a higher coherence and cohesion score, structure your letter more logically. Start with an introduction, then address each point in separate paragraphs. Use adequate paragraphing to ensure your points are distinct and clear.
greeting and closing
Enhance your greeting and closing by using a more personalized approach if the recipient's name is known, or maintain the formal tone consistently throughout.
communication tone
You've provided a warm and polite tone, which is suitable for a letter asking for information from a store.
task attempt
Your efforts to express the urgency and importance of your request were transmitted effectively.
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