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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In the present age, whether dedicating the whole time
for
Change preposition
to
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one
Use synonyms
 particular discipline
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 more benefits than learning about extra subjects has sparked much debate. Some people assert that studying only
one
Use synonyms
 area can make you
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 attractive specialist
whereas
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 many others argue that
this
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 can lead to narrow-mindedness. Personally, I deeply believe that our attention is limited,
therefore
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, giving it to
one
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 subject that we are fond of is a wiser option.
Firstly
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, studying other subjects
in addition
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 to the main discipline can be beneficial in terms of broadening students‘ common knowledge and preventing them from losing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sight of the big picture
how
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of how
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 all the different disciplines are connected together.
For instance
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, German composer Felix Mendelson, mainly known for his operas and symphonies, including the
one
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 that we are used to hearing
in
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at
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 weddings, was
also
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 painting, dancing, learning ancient languages and studying philosophy. Maybe
this
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 was his key to becoming so famous
?
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.
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As a result
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, getting involved in a range of fields is likely to greatly contribute to the deeper understanding of the main subject at university which can make you a high-flying professional in the future.
On the other hand
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, an attempt to grasp more different areas at the same time may result in a superficial comprehension. Nowadays there is a tendency to delve into
one
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 specific part of the subject as people see it as the only way to pursue a successful career.
For example
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, it is undeniable that the majority of doctors
specializes
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specialize
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 in treating just limbs, heart or brain rather than the whole body with a view to providing patients with the most professional healthcare.
Consequently
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, the likelihood that
the
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apply
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one
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 might make a mistake is significantly less.
To sum up
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, learning extra subjects at university may lead to becoming more universal,
as well as
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 more successful professional.
However
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, I am convinced that being absorbed in the main discipline will uncertainly help you to stand out from the crowd

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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion, to fully address all parts of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Language Usage
To elevate your argumentation, diversify your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
Effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly presenting the topic and your stance.
Use of Examples
Provided specific examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Logical Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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